Is it normal to become paranoid that others may think you are gay?

I was once paranoid about this, I used to think that maybe people thought that I walked gay, or swung my arms gay, and that resulted in me never swinging my arms when walking even to this day, so for the rest of primary school I couldn't go anywhere whithout wearing something that has pockets so I wouldn't have to swing my arms, but as it turned out, I am gay, but back then I was very much attracted to girls.

I've come to the conclusion that most guys are homophobes and tend to hide their softer sides because those feelings are traditionally associated with women. They do this by accusing guys who do have an apparent soft side as being gay. Don't let that get you confused. You know who you are. Just be yourself. Mature women are most attracted to men who are both sensitive and confident.

Well. Here's a question when your friends it the guys are talking about girls u know how they do, do you join in on the conversation or do you keep to yourself? if you don't say anything with the guys then yes they will misinterpret your silence as that.

or, if they all have already slept with girls and for some reason you have not then they will think that you are gay

People are so judgemental:/

Yes it's completely normal to be paranoid about this; like ariannel says its normal to be paranoid of ridicule regardless of the reason. The fact that it is sexual orientation just makes it all the more personal and something that is quite intangible and difficult to prove unless you are sleeping with girls.

I've had this happen to me recently actual and it was very distressing - first it started with my work colleagues, then to my housemates and then my friends.

In some fundamental way, the way you are acting isn't consistent with how people perceive you, or you are pissing people off in a way you don't realise. The gay labelling is because people feel something is a bit off but can't quite pin it down.

In my case, it was because I'm a very good looking guy, that is single and also fairly confident. This alone pissed some insecure people off enough to label me gay. However, the main point of the fact that even people I liked starting thinking I was gay was because I was getting so paranoid and because of other circumstances in my life (work etc) that I was acting in a very selfish way; my attention was withdrawn (I guess in a very similar way to shyness) and it really upset people because they thought I was cool (I hope I am too!) but I was being dismissive and a dick to them (not on purpose and I didn't realise it at the time).

You solve this by showing genuine interest in people and just connecting with people on a real level. Chat to them if you find what they say interesting. Engage people. Tell them about something interesting that you saw or happened in your life.

I'm going to throw a guess that people actually like you and that you might be quite good looking (girls talk about you in a sexual way behind your back around everyone else) and that this is getting some people jealous BUT on top of this you are also doing something which makes them dislike you such as being too dismissive or disinterested in them as a person.

That was what I thought was relevant to my situation anyway.

Just to add, I'm now finding that:

With girls - too much attention - runs away from me fast
- just the right amount of attention - loves me to bits
- too little attention - loses interest

With guys - too much attention - probably thinks I'm gay (but I never really give any guy too much interest, not in the same way when you are trying to get laid with a girl anyway...)
- just the right amount - thinks I'm the coolest dude in the worl
- too little attention - thinks I'm gay/a dick/a twat/insert derogatory term.

Only the most confident of my friends seem to accept me for who I was in this period (just a straight guy acting like a dickhead) and insecure people will hate you for it. It's not their fault (nor yours) but the above is now I resolved the situation.

Hope that helps.

Let me put it this way: yes its normal to worry that your peers will ridicule you - regardless of the reason why. It does sound like you need to get a little more comfortable with yourself. Who cares what other people think? You know the truth about yourself. Be confident in that. (Easier said than done... I know).

Eh, my best friend's mom has some idiotic old-fashioned ideals instilled into her head. She secretly thinks I'm gay because I have long hair with blonde streaks. I'm completely straight.

I know what you mean. It is so embarrassing when people accuse me of trying to grab my friend's butt. x.x They think I am trying to grab it when I swing my arms, so I have learned to stop doing that.

i dont think ur gay. i think youre just not an asshole. dont worry about it. my boyfriend is just like you and he is farrrr for gay

Are you worried that you are a little bit gay?

alex!