Is it normal to be upset after my first day at work?

77% Normal
5 Comments

I just started working at this cozy little restraunt/bar. I worked the late shift from 8pm to 12am as a bar back on a Saturday karaoke night, cleaning glasses, getting people water, cleaning tables, that kind of thing. I really did think that I was doing good job. Hell, I was bussing tables and cleaning dishes faster than a cheetah on meth. But my boss didn't seem quite so impressed with me...He made a remark that it looked like I had "zero energy" and that if I"look like I'm having a miserable time, then this job might not be right for me." This surprised me, because I was actually very happy to be there. I definitely didn't feel like I was having a "miserable time".

The truth is that I am quite shy. I was nervous, and I know that people could read this from my body language even when I was trying to hide it. Because of my nervousness, I didn't really mingle with anyone or strike up conversations. As bar back, I thought I was supposed to be focusing on my job mainly. But he seems to want me to fit in the atmosphere, to do my job and to help others have more fun. Honestly, that is going to be challenging for me...I really do want to get over my shyness though, that's one of the reasons I chose this job. I thought throwing myself onto the scene of a Saturday karaoke night full of drunk people dancing and singing horribly would pretty much force me out of it. Looks like I may not have the chance now to see if it will...

So, I partly started this post to ask if my situation is normal, but also to ask for any advice about how to turn this situation around and have more fun. I've been told that I should just keep smiling, but really, don't only weird people walk around smiling constantly? I do smile at people and politely ask them if I can take there glass, but I don't just smile when I'm walking around and cleaning. Seems awkward. See, this situation is about more than trying harder, it's about figuring out HOW to try harder, because I've always been quiet so all these unspoken social rules are kind of mysterious and elusive to me. Sorry for the wall of text, thanks to anyone who's stuck with it this far.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 44 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • RinTin
    12 years ago

    When you're nervous people feed off that negative energy, making them feel out of place and uncomfortable. Your boss probably noticed that. Shy/nervous people make others feel uncomfortable and unsure. It's not about trying harder, it's about letting go which can be just as hard.

    You could try observing people who are outgoing and adopting some of their mannerisms. Watch their body language and how they talk. Practice in front of the mirror and in public and you should start to feel more comfortable. It's sort of like acting I suppose. We learn by observation.

    If you can learn to pretend to be comfortable on the outside that'll give you the opportunity to feel more comfortable on the inside. That is, you won't get fired before you get a chance to improve youself! :)

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  • Faceless
    12 years ago

    Who the fuck has fun and smiles at work and means it? Besides clowns and porn actors, but we all know theyre crying inside. I got fired from my last job for not being sociable and not fitting in and that was a job at a plant full of country hicks. Dont follow suit. Smile more even if it breaks your teeth.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    With a little experience I'm sure you will lighten up! His business is based on service to the customers so all you have to do is smile when you ask for someone's glass, smile when someone is speaking to you and smile when you speak to someone.

    I always smile before I call someone on the phone - as I was trained to, and it really makes a difference to how you are perceived.

    You may not be able to win with him, if he thinks you're spending too much time with the customers but perhaps it would be a good idea if some of your family / friends would come in so you can show him your real personality.

    Good luck - stick it out it will get better and speak up, tell him you were just nervous on the first night.

    After a while you won't care what the drunks say and it will just be yeah yeah to everything.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Yoor boss seems like a disgusting human being, yoo don't need too force yoorself too be different for him! Seems like yoor doing a great job ! X

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    tell him youll be alot happier with triple the pay

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