Is it normal to be unattached from your parents for no reason?

By unattached I mean not having much of a relationship when you're not around them. My parents divorced when I was around 2 years old, so I didn't have a problem with it. Most of my life I've lived with my mom. I'm almost 19, and I've only lived with my dad for 5 years, sometimes 1 year at a time, my whole life. I've never been abused or neglected at ALL be either one of my parents. Even with my mom, I was never missed her whenever I was away from her for a long period of time. Same with my dad. I know a lot of people my age who call their parents all the time when they're away, like at college. I don't even have a bad relationship with either one. When I'm with them we laugh, joke, go out and have fun. But when I'm away they completely leave my mind, like I don't care. But I still love both of my parents. IIN? Is anyone else like this?

Yes 18
No 2
Yes, I'm unattached to my parents without a reason 18
No, you have no reason to be unattached 6
Comment 2
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

    i'm thinking... this may be a self-protection behavior.

    if you don't care as deeply as you can... then they can't hurt you when they send you off to the other parent.

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  • Ihadtomakeyetanotheraccountffs

    Definitely normal. When you're around your parents you get along but when you're away from them you want to live your own life, be more independent. I'm the same and I'm a similar age to you.

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    • Captain_Kegstand

      I agree, i'm the same way as well. I love my parents, but when I come home from a visit up to my parents, there is no separation anxiety or anything like that. I don't really feel like I "miss" them or anything, I only call like once a month just to keep up on family news and thats it. Sounds normal.

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  • wigsplitz

    Yeah, sort of. I can be around my parents and have a good time, but when away I don't even think about them, but unlike you, I don't feel love for them.

    I am truly undecided if it's a problem with me or a problem with them as to why I feel this way. They were rather cold and unfeeling when I was a kid, but that alone isn't necessarily grounds for not loving them. They did take care of me. But they did do me wrong too. So, I can't answer with certainty. I honestly can't say that had hey been even slightly more affectionate or caring that I'd be more affectionate towards them.

    I really wish one of my parents would die just so I can see how I feel (I've wished this for a looooooong time). And just by saying that, I think I wouldn't care. But I want to experience it nonetheless.

    When my brother and I were younger and both at home, we actually formulated a plan to kill our dad (obviously we didn't do it, but we did discuss it at length). He was pretty mean, but we were just kids then and didn't really understand him. Now that I'm older, I feel like I understand my dad, forgive him and relate to him far better than my mom. When I was a kid, my mom falsely positioned herself as a 'savior' of sorts (as if she was the only parent who cared) but later on in life I kind of realized it was rather the opposite.

    Anyway, both my parents have major issues. I recently found out my dad is a heroin addict (he was always known to me to be an alcoholic and an occasional drug user), now he's still a full blown alcoholic AND newly addicted to heroin/opiates. It's weird. I've been there myself, but it's so strange to see a parent go through it. Your parent is not supposed to sink that low. It just feels like kids are 'allowed' to disappoint their parents, and it's expected to some degree, but parents are NEVER supposed to disappoint their kids, Does that make sense? My dad just went through dope sickness and I observed it, it was disturbing to say the least. Even though I feel like I don't 'love' my parents, I still feel for my dad's pain and I feel a shame and disappointment in him right now. I've seen this man come home after wrecking his truck, flipping it into a ditch, and walking through miles and miles of marshland to avoid getting a DUI...yet I have never felt the same level of disappointment I feel right now in him while he was dope sick. This is all both so old and so new to me, I know I'm rambling here and I apologize....I guess I'm still trying to sort all this out at 33 and also feeling new feelings all the time regarding my parents. My mom is a 'spiritual narcissist'. It's maddening.

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    • ChocolateBlunder

      It wasn't rambling. You gave good detail. I guess there are small psychological reason that built up from when I was a kid that mad me unattached to them today. It's weird because my mom was very loving to me all my life, and yea I love her, but I feel guilty since she calls me and tells me she was just thinking about me and she's loves me, but it's almost like I don't care and I know I should. I have respect for her. I don't talk back, did what she asked, we weren't poor, and all these things but I just don't know why I'm like this

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