Is it normal to be unable to understand how someone can be in denial?

66% Normal
30 Comments

I always hear about how someone can have something bad happen and block it out, or how someone can be in denial of something that they know. This makes no sense to me whatsoever. What I wonder is if someone is blocking or denying something, then wouldn't they have to be aware of it to do so? I can't tell if I do not understand this because I'm autistic or if most people do not understand this concept. I am very aware of what I know.

Voting Results
66% Normal
Based on 29 votes (19 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 30 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Denial is a result, a result of another process taking place beforehand.

    It's called compartmentalisation, everyone does it to a degree, but not everyone can do it well. How the fuck do you think serial killers can kill people and go back to work the next day all smiles? They are good at compartmentalisation.

    Say you hurt someones feelings once, and you felt bad. Some time later you won't feel anywhere near as bad as you DID, because you compartmentalise negative experiences. This leads to what a person on the outside would view as denial, but it is simply tucked away so tightly and expertly that it appears the individual has forgotten its existence. So alot of people who are good at it tend also to lack conscience, because they can file it away and not give a shit. This goes for negative experiences inflicted against the individual also.

    "It was like a black hole. It was like a crack and everything that fell into that crack just disappeared"

    -Ted Bundy, on this very topic.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Then do most serial killers black out parts of their murders? I always thought most of them just didn't care to begin with. I have known people with ptsd who seem to do this too and wont remember things, yet they will flip out if you try to get them to remember, which to me seems they would have to actually know or they wouldn't react that way. I'm having a hard time understanding how someone can not know what they know. Personally I don't forget anything. I don't think I'm able to black out. Even if I get hammered to where I can hardly walk I remember everything.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Yes that's true, most of them don't care. But this is what makes it possible to treat something so dramatic and awful like it's normal. Many of them have stated that they just don't think about it, compartmentalisation is the only way to "ignore" something that you know full well. Bundy said that his normal personality was still there, along with all the same feelings a normal person has. The difference was just that when he did something bad he would section it into what he called a "blackhole" in his mind, he was describing the process of compartmentalisation. You've done bad things, and had bad things happen to you, but notice that you are able to just go on with your life and not think about those things all the time? That's compartmentalisation on a small scale, they are just able to do it on a large scale. Both Dahmer and Bundy (and many other serial killers) had to be quite drunk the first few times they killed because they didn't yet have the ability to supress such horrors and still function. They both confessed this to be true.

        A bad break up with a partner hurts less over time, because the memory slowly slips into this hole. That's why they say it's unhealthy to "repress" alot of bad memories, because the pain is always as strong as it was to begin with but we fool ourselves into thinking we're over it by dumping it all into this mental filing cabinet.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    One billion Christians are in denial that Jesus won't save them and one billions muslims are in denial that Allah doesn't exist and Muhammad wasn't a prophet but a self-appointed cult leader. I don't understand it either but I guess most people are wired that way.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • SuperBenzid
    10 years ago

    I will try and give a literal example to make it clearer to you. There are all kinds of structures in the eyes that obscure your vision, but you have learned since you were a kid to not see them because obviously seeing the blood vessels and vitreous jelly is both useless and distracting. Your mind has a powerful denial of these things but certain people with high anxiety train their eyes to see this junk again through continually worrying about it.

    Denial of knowledge is similar, the mind blocks out something it considers to be useless and distracting.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Intresting. I actually see the little squiggles and blobs. I'm not even worried about it. I am just aware its there. I see constant static too. I think I'm just unable to block things out so its difficult for me to understand.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • RomeoDeMontague
        10 years ago

        If someones son is a killer they might not want to believe it. So they say "No! My son would never do that"! Even if everything says the son did it and they have video of them doing it. Denial is very simple. They denied it ever happened. Which means they will not believe it so they are not admitting to it. They don't realize its there. You think people realize everything. Not everyone will. Like a crazy person does not always know they are crazy. Just because you think you know everything does not mean everyone else is going to.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          I've come to the conclusion that I am just not going to comprehend this.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • RomeoDeMontague
            10 years ago

            Its not that hard. You are just making it more complicated. It is very simple. Being in denial DOES NOT mean they know it. It means the opposite. It means they will not except, acknowledge or admit it.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • Anonymous Post Author
              10 years ago

              I am getting that. I made this post because I have never understood how someone can even do that. Do they block things out deliberately and then forget? Honestly it has always really pissed me off when someone doesn't except or acknowledge something. It seems illogical to me and seems to be a symptom of having a weak mind that cannot handle life. All of the examples make no sense to me either. For example the fact that someone would be in denial that their son is a killer may as well be killed by their son just to show them the harsh reality. I have no empathy for someone who cannot accept truth.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Maybe they have suffered enough?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      That doesn't answer anything. I just cannot imagine how someone can purposefully forget something.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Terence_the_viking
        10 years ago

        Protection.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Are most people able to choose what they remember? I know I couldn't make myself forget something if I wanted to. I don't feel like I get much of a choice of what I think about either though as if my mind just works on its own.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • Terence_the_viking
            10 years ago

            It's still affecting them they just choose not to show it.

            Like when your dad leaves you as a kid and was never there for you while all your friends are taking the fathers for grandted and you hide it from them that you ar both jealous and sad.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • Anonymous Post Author
              10 years ago

              That's not quite what my post was originally about. I came up with this post because I have known many people who seem to block out memories or be in denial about things to the point that seems delusional to me.

              That's different than not showing your emotions to other people.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
  • sux
    10 years ago

    卐boston was fake卐

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    -3
    -3
      -
    • SuperBenzid
      10 years ago

      It's true Boston was actually a city made out of cardboard and styrofoam until in the late nineties they decided to build it for real. Before that time it was actually just a life size model city to gauge people's reaction to a city being built there.
      Indeed:
      Boston was fake.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      3
      3
    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      What's with all the uncreative trolls?
      If you are going to waste your time at least be amusing.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      3
      3
        -
      • sux
        10 years ago

        same to you, Im not trolling, the truth may not amuse you but i guess thats why youre a liberal

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        -3
        -3
          -
        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          I wasn't just referring to this post. I was referring to your 2 to 3 word comments on posts in general that aren't creative and just say things that have nothing to do with the original post.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          3
          3
            -
          • sux
            10 years ago

            just saying whats in my mind bich

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            -2
            -2
    • RomeoDeMontague
      10 years ago

      Boston tea party?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0