Is it normal to be tricked this much?

Well im 17 and im not the smartest, but I cant tell how bad it is. I get good grades, I can make friends who dont know me, but my life hasn't gotten any better than it was. I tryed to wait it out, but its either too late or completely hopeless.
So basically my dad is a freak and tricked me when I was younger. And so did other family members, but they didnt know what they did, they where not that older than me. I remember being terrified of church completely. It seems unlikely that anything happened there, but I remember a daycare program at the church directly told me that I was going to hell. And I told my mom I didnt want to go back, but she made me. I had nightmares everyday and still do, but they only get worse.
I used to be really ambitious when I was younger despite all this. But my family just got worse and worse and I got on probation for truency in the 7th grade (age 12). My probation officer was mad at me for "being spoiled", i had anger towards my dad, because I found the porn on his computer when I was 11, and I thought thats why I hated him, and it was part of it.. He downloads porn about rape and "kiddie porn". When I was 13, I found some "26 years old" guy, and I thought we could be friends, but he raped me. I always hung around the older crowd, because they felt bad for me, i was bullied at school. But he was just simply too old for me to talk to. My behavior problems got worse after that, i felt crazy and couldnt understand why. Not much later I was in a rehab that couldnt help me, in was too young at the time for most placements. When my parents divorced (13), I spent most my time at my friends house smoking meth with her mom and step dad. So thats why I qualified for rehab. I got kicked out, for punching a male peer (he was 15), he did not hit me back, im glad now. I was sent to the psych ward, no other place would take me, so I HAD to go back. They read my journal out loud in group while I was gone, to show an examples of drug abuse denial, but they didnt catch on that I was journaling about being raped, i found that out when the guy i hit directly asked me if i knew about them reading my journal to the group. I wish to apologize to him, but i took all my anger out on him.
So after I got out, I went to go see my best friend who I missed, and I smoked meth again with her family. They all passed out, I was still awake and so was her step dad. He kept pressuring me to have sex with him, I was 14 at the time and still scared. But he just kept trying to get me drunk, but I was high off meth, so I never passed out. Some one walked in the room, and I instantly knew what was going on. I told him that he had a wife and he should leave me alone, but then I got yelled at by the person who walked in, she thought I slept with him and I refused too and she saved me basically. And im too embarrassed to go back to help my friend, even though her step dad is dead.
I cryed and texted my "friend" who was 26, i ignored that he raped me, I seriously didnt know yet. And he just said "too much drama, bye". I felt crushed. I didnt know "why he hated me", and oddly enough before I went back to the hospitals, some random guy asked me to "be his pet", and he ment slave. And I just didnt answer and avoided him. No idea who he was! But he was so familiar, he looked about 21. And directly after that, i got a message on my facebook from a weird account that was asking if I wanted to be a slave!! I ignored that too, and then days later i was put back in the hospitals for being suicidal.
I was sent to mental institutions, multiple ones because I didnt get better at first. Female staff picked on me and would tell other patients that I was "stupid", and those kids where rewarded for picking on me, but in the end we where friends. Male staff would always find a way to look at my boobs, and they would even trick the female staff so they could look at me in the shower, I was STILL 14/15. And I avoided them as much as I could, but then my room was moved over to the boys side because of "over crowding"! At the time i thought it was because they thought I could handle it the male staff better than the other girls. And just to let you know, all those staff got fired eventually after other people reported the same stuff.
An actual, female friend who was with me in many institutioms, recently hung herself. I went to her funeral and saw some female staff who used to pick on me, and one added me on facebook and told me I was stuck up. I just wanted to see my friend. I did more to help her than them. I dont know what to think any more. I have hallucinations all the time as well.
im scared of myself, and im scared of my boyfriend. I cant tell if I should leave him.
I still dont go to school either, I'm getting my GED. and I still cut myself, I even hit my arm with a hammer and went to the ER. I dont even remember why I do the stuff I do. I just wake up to find diagrams of how to kill myself, have bruises, find all these odd text messages, and recall hearing voices.
I need some clarity. No one my age is this foolish.