Is it normal to be treated like this

I'm a 21 yr old female and the oldest of three kids. I am currently studying full time to get a diploma in animal care and management.
I feel that no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough for my family. My dad in particularly always calls me a loser, I don't se why because if I wasn't studying I had a job and vise versa. Even when I was both working and studying I was still called a loser, I don't see why because neither of my parents finished highschool and really made anything of themselves.
I was upset because I had recently had a job interview for a job I really wanted but didn't end up getting it. That was my mums excuse to start comparing me to my younger sister, who is doing a harder course than me AND works on the weekend.

When ever I come home from uni or from my boyfriends and say hi to everyone at home I'm greeted with grunts and glares. When my sister comes home for the weekend from her student housing everyone warmly greets her home, even I greet her and she usually just glares at me and mumbles hi to me.
The family has a running thing that whenever I have something to say I get told to shut up.
Everyone talks down to me like I'm the family idiot. Whenever I try to talk to my mum she just grumbles and turns her attention to something else.

Before I had my boyfriend my parents kept telling me to wear more dresses and me more feminine or else no man will ever want me. I've got a boyfriend now, and they keep telling me to lose weight and stop tying my hair back or else he'll leave me for someone better looking. I love the way I look, I'm not fat, but I do have somewhat of a fuller figure (my boyfriend also loves the way I look), but they tell me I'm overweight. And I only tie my hair back because if I don't then I'm constantly pulling my hair out, I was diagnosed with trichotillomania five years ago.

Lastly, it's no secret that my little brother is the favourite. He's a spoilt brat, they got him whatever he wanted all his life and now question his attitude problem.
They sacrifice so much to give him soccer lessons and believe that he will be a professional soccer player when he grows up. This involves spending hundreds of dollars for a specialist school, thousands of dollars to have an ex professional soccer player as his coach (and hundreds of dollars every few months to keep that coach) and then $50 a week for extra keeper training.
It's a great dream, but highly improbable. My dream is to be a show dog breeder/trainer.
As childish as this sounds, I was promised my FIRST dog on my 21st birthday. A week before my birthday they informed me that it wasn't happening. There's no reason to it, I even now want to buy the dog and pay for everything it needs with my own money but they just won't let me. So what I'm saying is they make big sacrifices to support my brothers improbable dream but won't make a small sacrifice to support my possible one.

Sorry if this is too long, but I want to know if this is normal to single a member of the household out like this?

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 54 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • LIEWM

    Your family sound like a bunch of arseholes.

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  • EIOT

    You are a legal adult. Do not let your parents bring you down. Your parents have no control over your life. Now whether this story is false or not, you should move out.

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  • sioto

    Your parents hate themselves and everyone else. They will never be happy or satisfied with their lives. They are losers. The sooner you ditch them the better off you will be. Before you do anything else, get as far away from them as possible.

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  • PalestinianGuy

    As long as your still dependent on them you must suck it up! when you can take care of yourself or if your boyfriend is willing to help you and provide for both of you, then you won't need them.
    This should motivate you to make your dreams come true and prove them wrong.

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  • stayoutofthetunacan

    Your parents are dicks and most likely jealous of the bright future you have.

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  • oops91

    They really do sound like assholes. You should try to work something out with your boyfriend. Try to get a place together. You will always have him and your friends. My family are pricks too(not trying to disrespect yours)

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  • contraplex

    They sound like assholes.

    Confront them and tell them how you feel.
    Don't be all nice because they obviously don't deserve it.
    If they don't care i would advise leaving and getting your
    own place... as soon as possible of course

    If you do decide to confront them don't be afraid to start
    of the conversation by cutting someone off or something.

    I honestly feel very bad for you and you seem like you deserve better.

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  • chocolatchaud

    Man, your family are a bunch of ass holes. sorry, but it makes me feel so terrible that they are only treating you this way. How have you been able to turn out this way while growing up with them? you are their first born! Do you fight with them a lot? I'm sure you are beautiful since your boyfriend loves you so much. What does he think? If you could save enough money, you should just move out. I hope they don't take the money you earn as well! Do you have any other relatives that actually care about you? Your family reminds me of Harry Potter's uncle, aunt, and cousin. Did you ever ask them and find out exactly why they are treating you this way? Or do they just shoo u away? :(

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  • joybird

    It's probably coz they have no education or parenting skills that they differentiate between you all this way. I said it's normal coz my parents and my siblings all dislike one of my sisters. She is one nasty piece of work so we all know not to say hi, in case it's misinterpreted and she flies off into a rage. However, if you are genuinely normal - and not just feeling sorry for yourself / playing the victim, then you need to get out of there. Surely it wouldn't be too much bother if you brought a small dog home from the pound? Your family would all grow to love it - if they're half normal.

    I don't know why you bother returning home at the weekends at all - I know I wouldn't, nor would I contact them to say where I was. Then, you'd see if they are concerned enough to contact you or even call around to find you. I'd imagine they would, although my sister left when she was 16 and we never knew where she was for 6 weeks but we didn't give a shit anyway.

    If all else fails and you have to stay, be civil until you can get out but ignore their worthless opinions.

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  • coasterfreak

    Try to get a house or apartment and live your own life because I feel terrible that your treated this way. If you can't get a house, ask a aunt uncle or grandparent if you can live with them.

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  • Omgitzme38

    your parents are dicks

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  • superaspie

    Can you go to a dorm and live? Or get an apartment.

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  • iowagirl3

    If I were you I would stop worrying so much about what they think & you should just do what makes you happy. It's a shame that your family is that way towards you but you can't change them and if I were you, I would be glad you are nothing like them!

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