Is it normal to be this way even though i'm not depressed

You're just going to have take my word for it that I'm not depressed. I feel like this probably every three/four days and I don't feel really bad like I would act on suicide or anything. I still have interests and passions that keep me going. It also happens that I'm a coward. Regardless:

I love anything that will take me away from reality. I'm always dreaming or submerging myself in fiction. I either sleep too little on weekdays or go overboard on weekends; 12 hours at least. I'm often told I waste my life away sleeping, but it's beautiful to me because it's like death without the commitment. I'm not very sociable and have no friends. I love writing and most of what I write ends up as something dark e.g. the POV of a suicidal person. I find myself wondering what the point of everything is and feeling hopeless. I do get feelings of emptiness as well. Also, I hate myself and am extremely shy though I don't self-harm. I feel guilty about a lot of things and feel like a burden. I entertain (!) the thought of suicide as a release. I know it's selfish but at the same time I muse over it being the lesser of two evils - the other in which I just do nothing, am a pain in the ass and pollute the earth. I comfort eat with chocolate.