Is it normal to be this frustrating?

Recently, I have been thinking about asking if it was normal being frustrated at myself. I came to learn about this friend of mine-a girl- having a crush on me despite being a girl myself, and I treated her just the way I thought I normally would. About three years have passed when I came to learn of it, and I only just started thinking about having a relationship with her. I keep on having an argument with myself because whenever I'd talk to her, I'd be sweet and flirt. But then, there are times whenever I'd remember how my family would be disappointed at me if I do have a relationship with her OR even be considering that. To make things worse, whenever I would imagine what my best friend would say if she found out that I'm having this infatuation or thing for that girl, I'd get scared and then I would put all of my anger to that girl. A good friend of mine asked me if I was in love with that girl and I have no idea how to respond to it. I mean, I've never been in love with anyone before. I had a boyfriend once, but we treated each other like friends, not lovers. And then, my mind would remind me of my fear of what my best friend would say. And that somehow gives me some sort of idea, though not very clear.

Whenever I'd ask myself about who would I choose between the two of them, I'm sure that I would pick my best friend over that girl. But the problem after that is I can't spend a day without thinking of that girl. I keep on getting frustrated by these thoughts, and I have no idea who to turn to...well, because my family would have none of it. And they would probably keep me from talking with my best friend.

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83% Normal
Based on 12 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Terence_the_viking

    Off thats too bad sair.

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  • elenaki

    You're stuck in a really bad situation huh?
    First of all let me say, maybe you should cut your best friend some slack. Whether you're dating a girl or a guy you're still the same person and she should treat you the same way. It's none of her business who you're with, since it doesn't affect her and if she says otherwise then that's really horrible of her and I don't think she's that good of a friend after all.
    When you're in love, you'll know. It's very different from just liking someone. But not being in love with this girl doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
    Your family here is the trickiest part. When you're saying they would have none of it, what exactly do mean? Coming out to parents is a lot harder than coming out to friends (I would know, I'm gonna tell my dad I'm bi around the time I win my first Nobel). Your parents will be a big part of your life until you move out. It would be best to keep them happy, but if it's getting in the way of you being happy I don't know if it's worth it. If it would make you happy to be with this girl, and your parents would be happy thinking you're straight then I guess lying it is.
    In any case you need to stop freaking yourself out by thinking what could happen. It's been 3 years. Does that girl still like you? Don't speculate. Go an find out! Will your friend be ok with it? If not, she wasn't really a friend to begin with and it's a good thing you found out sooner rather than later. Take a chance. Don't sit at home wondering and over-thinking. It's pointless. You'll never know unless you go out and find out. Honestly, even the worst case scenario is gonna be better than most of the possibilities you've thought of. I'm an over-thinker too, trust me. It's the worst habit ever.

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    • robbieforgotpw

      Power craps everywhere because of your long response

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