Is it normal to be this fed up with my fiancé?

56% Normal
6 Comments

I am almost 20 years old and I’ve been with my now fiancé (who is currently 23) for over 3 years. We moved in together over a year ago and we recently set a date for our wedding! He’s really great guy. We’ve got the same sense of humor and he is always there for me when I need him, we’re a pretty good match if I do say so myself. There’s just one problem, he’s always broke.

When I say broke, I don’t mean like “$100 in the checking account broke.” I mean “can’t even pay his half of the bills broke.” I work my butt of to pay the bills! I take classes online for veterinary technology. He is also taking classes but he attends on campus classes. He’s working towards a doctorate in chiropractic! (He’s still taking undergraduate classes at the moment.) He works maybe 25 hours a week, if it’s a good week. He says he can’t work any more hours because he needs to study. I totally get that, working and going to school really hard! However, I am also taking classes, mine are online, but I still manage to study on my own time. I’m getting really frustrated with this situation because I am making good money and he’s honestly pulling me down. He never makes enough for rent, cable, power, and his phone bill. I always end up “loaning” him money that I know I’ll never see back. He currently owes me around $700. I’m now going broke myself. I have my own bills to pay and paying his too isn’t doing my credit any good. My discover card is almost maxed out!

He says to just wait until he graduates with his doctorate because then he’ll be making great money and he’ll give me everything I always wanted. His graduation date is over 3 years out and truthfully, he’s not doing super awesome in his classes. Oh yeah, when you’re in the doctorate program it’s recommended for you NOT to work because the classes are so intense. So I’ll really be paying his bills then. I’m worried he’s going to suck me dry, more than he already has. Moving back home really isn’t an option because we’re currently in Georgia specially for him to attend this school and we’re both from Ohio. He’s had to ask his parents for money more than once since we’ve moved in together. Yikes.
Like I said, he’s a really sweet guy and I love him with all of my heart. I just can’t afford to keep paying his bills. What should I do?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 27 votes (15 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • IMissMary
    8 years ago

    Dump him and let some other woman get the benefits later. His future Mrs will thank you!!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • swurls
    8 years ago

    you're way to young to be even thinking about getting married go live a little longer you still have yet to grow and change, i'm not saying to dump her but give it more time before you get married

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ODED_OBLITERATE
    8 years ago

    Oded here, as the fact be told I am not married but I happen to know a thing or two. This is a tough situation but a situation where this type of thing happens more often than one would think. I say if he is working and studying too is a good thing however if he can do better in his studies then kick him in the butt and get him doing better in his grades. When it comes to money, downgrade some things for the time being to make finances a bit easier. Like prepaid phone instead of smart phone. Just for the time being. Stuff like that. Find better deals on things. Any corners to cut just for now. Other than that I can say just try to make it work for the time being. That's my 2 cents.

    Oded....out

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Everyone talking about dumping, or he's using you and all this nonsense... The thing is, he wants to marry you. You want to marry him. This is just the first bump in the road, and marriage (as well as life) is nowhere near as smooth as people may think it is. Anything is manageable if you two can work together and stay on the same page.

    Here is a very unpopular suggestion, but try finding a cheaper place (who cares if it's small, because it's temporary). Next, you both need to make sacrifices (as in, look around the apartment/house you two live in and see what you two can live without). Also, have a donation jar where he can place $10, $5, or any amount you two agree on in the jar when he gets paid. Lastly, be realistic, don't do that us against the world nonsense or love conquers all; you two are a couple in real life, not movie characters.

    If you really don't want to move, or he can't spare any money, then try to see if he can live on campus and you find your own place for a while. Good luck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    It sounds like he's found a sucker who he expects will support him for the rest of his life. And he gets laid in the bargain.
    For a start, you can support him for the rest of his undergrad years, with grad school to look forward to after that. Seems like he's got it made in the shade, so to speak.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    He's using you: why are you putting up with this? There's nothing to stop him vanishing out of your life once he's earning good money and doesn't need you any more

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0