Is it normal to be this detatched?
Since I was a child I always felt different from all the other kids. I felt that I did not belong. Everything that my supposed friends attempted to do seemed pointless. I questioned it to the highest degree. The same occurs with my immediate family, and other relatives. At family gatherings I feel detached from everyone, to get by such gatherings I supply everyone with a warm smile and go on pondering things.
Things like people's smiles, they all seem fake. I, more then often find my intuition based on their smiles to be true. When I hear people talk it just makes me sick. Their words seem so false. They simple give you a fake smile while they mock you in their minds. Don't get me wrong I believe that everyone has a right to their own opinion and they can say whatever they want. I am not a violent person and do not wish any harm on any person.
Nowadays, I have become so accustomed to these thoughts that I now simply go through the motions. A person talks to me, I give them a smile, respond, and continue on with my life. I have "friends" but are any of them really close to me? no. So far I have not found one person who shares the same view of the world as me. Which is why I am here. Is this normal? Is it perhaps a disease?
To give more information about myself,
I am not very religious, I believe in God, however whenever I think of religion, I simply imagine people turning to god only when they are in need. I feel that they simply turn to god to day that they are believers and to be saved. I don't know. Perhaps I question things too much. Perhaps I see humanity as being horrible for no reason.