Is it normal to be this cold hearted??

62% Normal
6 Comments

Hey everyone :) mind you this might be a long post :)

Im in a phase in my life where well im nowhere spiritually,mentally,academics etc etc since the last 2-3yrs i have been feeling that im changing very rapidly personality & character wise although i personally think i dont really have a personality or a good character but that thing aside, i have been feeling that iv become(and becoming) very cold as in i dont care about people specially when i hear that someone has died im like "ok so what? everybody has to die" i dont care about dead people we all know we will die one day so why cry over something nobody can control,right??

When it comes to peoples problems and specially in cases where I THINK that people acted stupidly i feel happy that they got f*****d and when i see people who are happy and they get f****d someway that also makes me happy.

I think that emotions etc are for weak people people who do something stupid and are looking for a scapegoat.

Love is overrated, true love exist but very rare. I think that even love is selfish even a mother's love we are selfish beings arent we? so why Love be any different? my take on love is that we "love" something that makes us feel better or happy which ultimately means (TO ME) that love is also selfish but we dont feel that its selfish 'coz we think its love, catch my drift??

Im jealous of people i dont care about people and what they think or DO anymore i just look after my self interest (except in some cases where people do need help), if a person was literally hacked in front of me i would be like "oh im happy it wasnt me atleast" i wouldnt care a thing about that other person coz well we will die one way or another.

My thoughts on my ranting: Growing up i dint have a father or even a brother to look up to or anyone in that matter, i have a mother who lives in her own world thinking that shes never made a big mistake and at the first sight of trouble she would run away or look for the easiest way to get out and always blames her problems on the world or her children (like me). I am a waste of life,flesh and blood i always keep wondering why i was even created. I dont have any friends no one whos close to me and now im at a point where i dont want anyone anymore im tired of people and their usual BS. I always wanted a loving mother specially specially an older sister but i never got it so i stopped wanting it basically i was afraid of the darkness in my life then 1 day i made Darkness my friend and got used to it.

I am 23yrs old but i feel like 40-45 old man if psychologist were to run test on me they would some valuable info on Humans LOL...too young to be this f*****d,lol so would love your thoughts on me i wouldnt mind if anyone at is it normal reads my post thinks about replying but does'nt reply( i understand that)

TC TC & TC
Peace!!

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62% Normal
Based on 34 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • lunareclipse
    9 years ago

    Ha you sound like NPD or sociopath, people that lack empathy cause in their childhood they somehow learnt that they are unlovable, and in order to avoid the absolute pain of facing the fact that they are unworthy, they create this bubble where they become total jerks to others and are incapable to feel love. Love is not a selfish feeling, the opposite, love is complete selflessness, when you would do anything for another person. If it becomes selfish, it's no longer love. Don't get the words 'relationship' and 'love' mixed up. So yeah, sounds horrible, would hate to be you. If you feel happy for other's misfortune it's because you are so sure inside that you yourself are a failure that if they would have succeeded, it would be a constant reminder that you are f......d up. So if they fail, it's like a relief that you are not the only miserable douche. You can go on playing tough, but you will just be fooling yourself for the rest of your life with your protective little bubble. The truth is that it was your parents and circumstances that taught you this way and in reality you are more than worthy of living and feeling the life to the fullest. And there is LOAAAAAAADS of free material out there to help, but since NPD always thinks that he is the onlyone that knows anything and everyone else is full of BS, then he will never learn and will never get help and will live the rest of his life in misery, forever and ever...and ever....

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    • DubstepismyMJ
      9 years ago

      I couldnt agree more, though i have a feeling he wont be able to comprehend this.
      Or the more obvious, wont care and label it. "BS".
      I truly do pity OP. i have an older brother the same way. Its truly sad.

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  • shion13
    9 years ago

    I dont think it's a cold feeling though, look more like hatred, anger and sadness. I felt the same way too, i hate people. Grew up similar as you, without father or any siblings. I can relate to the things you wrote except for the lack of the empathy. But can you say, to me, 'i'm happy since you're fucked up growing without a father, etc etc'? I still believe you can feel bad for the ones that have similar experience as you, and that goes the same for me too. Hope you get someone to erase all your hatred and fill it with peaceful and beautiful feelings.

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  • la_uva_mojada
    9 years ago

    you will never find happiness with such an outlook. Likely yoi wilk try to find it with money, sex, drugs but youll never be happy until u realize u need to look inside yourselfto know we are all one.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    could you have fun in the sun , splashing and laughing , preferably with friends lol

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Its normal to not care about others when it seems others have rejected you. Maybe you should surround yourself with better people and you will learn some people are worth putting effort into.

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