Is it normal to be this anti-social?

76% Normal
5 Comments

I'm really scared of meeting new people, and since i'm going to a new college where none of my high school friends are going, I am pretty lonely. I barely talk to anyone and I haven't been able to hang out like normal college kids. If on the off chance that someone asked me to a party or just to have lunch, i get really nervous. I think, "what will i talk about?" "man i hope i don't bore them to death." etc.
And that brings me to what really makes me most sad. I've never had a proper girlfriend(went to movies with a girl twice but never did anything more than that). Not only am I afraid to talk to girls, but if i did ask her out and she says yes, i don't know what i would do next. I am a boring guy and wouldn't have anything to talk about. I think into the future and unless things change it looks like I'll be an unmarried virgin loser.

I really want to have lots of friends and a girlfriend, but the thought of it really scares me.

I do hang out with high school friends, but like once a month or so, and its a group of guys so if i'm not talking, someone else is, and i can just chime in with a joke here and there.

Do most people have these feelings and just deal with it or is this not normal?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 72 votes (55 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • andres17
    14 years ago

    thats kind of how i was 8th grade(extremely shY) but when i went to high school i kinda forced myself to talk to girl more and get friends. I guess the way i did that was by acting more confident than i really was< and eventually i actually became confident in my social skills now im a senior and high school has been great, so sad its almost done

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    You sound like a really sweet, thoughtful, intelligent guy. I'm sure you have more to offer than you give yourself credit for. Force yourself to hang out with people, especially in a group setting. Get a booth at a pub so you're not so surrounded by strangers. This way you can play off their conversation and you won't feel so obligated to contribute as much. Listen to what they talk about, don't try so hard, and just be yourself. In time you'll feel much more at ease, I promise :)

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  • Pekingesia
    13 years ago

    I'm in the same boat. :(

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  • Gidget
    13 years ago

    Be more confident in urself u arent into the usual things college kids are in to wht partying thats not a bad thing find something u enjoy and ask a girl out talk about wht ever ask her about herself

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  • PoisonFlowers
    14 years ago

    I have feelings like this too.

    It's a combination of low self-esteem and lack of social experience. Think about it - being social is just like any other activity or "skill." It requires practise. When you don't have a lot of experience with something, you tend to have thoughts such as "oh, I bet I'm going to be crap at it. I'm scared to try it out and look like an utter fool." Can you imagine learning to dance...in front of all of your peers? It's the same sort of thing.

    You've got to just make yourself do it. Go to one of those parties (dude, you should count yourself lucky that you're invited at all, you know that?) You might just have fun. Just go along with it and let other people take the lead at first so that you can find your feet. Do you have any friends you could take along as a plus one to one of those parties? That would be great since you wouldn't be throwing yourself in the deep end, alone. It'd help you feel more comfortable.

    I've never been in an relationship either, so I don't know if I should be any sort of advice in that area hahaha. Don't be scared - if someone likes you, it must be for a reason. If it's meant to be, then I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't bore each other. Don't take it badly if things don't work out though. We can't be everything for everyone.

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