Is it normal to be so shy?

Zoloft and Effexor have done wonders for my social anxiety! It's wonderful.

You aren't the only one.:) For me, it depends entirely who I'm with. I think I'm the same as you, though. Especially with a lot of my family, with the exception of a few. As my cousin sarcastically said, I am the "epitome of fine conversation". Ha, I can't really blame her, because if she tries to talk to me I give her very short, blunt answers. I come across as a bit of robot with no sense of humour whatsoever, which isn't the case with my friends at all. I think it's because I feel uncomfortable. I'm obviously not sure why you feel the way you do, but for me I think it's a matter of feeling like I can be myself and be understood. Some of my family thinks I'm really weird, as in I have mental disorders. I feel like they don't know me at all sometimes. Or that they know me perfectly well but decide to act the complete opposite for their own amusement (obviously isn't the case, but it's ridiculous how far off they can be).

I guess this sounds like I'm trying to place the blame on them. I'm not trying to, and I've never been a naturally talkative person. A lot of people just bring it out of me, because they make me feel comfortable and I feel like I can be myself with them. I suppose with new people, you don't have that certainty, although sometimes I try to push myself (otherwise how am I going to find out?). Anyway, with people who make me feel uncomfortable, I tend to say little or nothing to them, because if they're going to make me feel bad about being myself (not necessarily deliberate), then I'd rather not give them anything to make me feel bad about. Does that make any sense?

Oh, and another thought just popped up about being in a conversation with 3 people. I sometimes find myself not saying anything, much like how you described. I've never considered it shyness, though. It might sound a bit strange, but I sort of forget that I'm actually there and actually a part of it. To me, it just feels like I'm watching it. And then I realise that I am a part of the conversation, which is when I tend to pipe in. I do actually talk in groups, but I definitely get what you mean, and I often feel it too. Maybe that's not you, though.

I'm not sure how you fix it. I've just found that I've been gradually getting better at it over time, which is reassuring, I guess. I sometimes wish I wasn't like this in the first place, though.

I have been super shy, too. In fact, I have a tendency to completely clam up, or get words mixed up and sound like an idiot when I do try to talk, or just give a goofy grin lol. It's really bad when meeting new people at work.

I've found the best way to train myself out of it is to force myself to talk to people. Say thank you to someone who holds the door, hello to the cashier, compliment the outfit of someone else in the elevator, join conversations in the doctor's waiting room instead of just listening in. Starting out with complete strangers is hard, BUT if you can do it with them, you can do it with family. Plus, if you have an awkward moment, don't feel bad - you'll probably never see that stranger again! Lol.

Like you said, you are self conscious. You need to not care about what others may think about what you are saying. I am a people person and can talk about almost anything to anyone because I try to not be judgmental in any way, shape, or form.

My conversation with a complete stranger can range from just stating how nice or awful the weather is to what they are wearing and where they got it from.

You need to be more open to stating what comes across your mind when in a conversation. It does not matter if the topics you talk about are random or jump around, it is encouraged in my opinion.

discrete*

I feel the same way sometimes. But its strange because when I say 'sometimes', I really mean exactly that. Sometimes I do quite well socializing. Other times, I feel extremely shy. So, I try to make myself discreet in some social settings.

In college, it seemed like I socialized pretty well with really anyone. But just recently seeing my own relatives, and my distant cousins that I haven't seen in years, I found it so hard to come out of my shell. Even making small talk seemed kind of embarrassing. But I knew if I didn't try talking at all, that would make me look even more weird.

I think you really just have to push yourself to come out of your comfort zone. Sometimes I've found that it helps to be upfront with people about feeling nervous when you feel nervous. Example: If I'm talking to someone and an awkward silence comes up, because I've run out of things to talk about, I usually just tell them honestly that I wish I had more to talk about, but nothing in my life seems to be that exciting at the moment. And maybe giggle a little or something. Usually, they will laugh a little too, or make a comment about their 'boring' lives too. I don't know. Its really hard to explain. But I think in those situations you'll figure something out. Good luck! And sorry for how long this was.