Is it normal to be so shallow

I think it's a good thing that you're picky and realistic with yourself. If you know you're not very attracted to someone and realize the relationship won't work out, it's a good idea to not pursue the relationship. A lot of girls just go into relationships without thinking realistically about how they will work out and it doesn't end well for them.

But you should also realize that everyone has flaws. You will never like 100% of everyone and no one will ever like 100% of you. If there is one little thing that bothers you about the person try to see past it. Don't set your standards so high. As long as you realize this I think you're fine.

You don't sound shallow. If you were really shallow you wouldn't be concerned about this.

A lot of females your age are picky with the men they choose to date, so I do think it's normal. I admit that I have standards in the guys I date too. I don't think you're too shallow, you should date who you want and not feel bad about it.

no, it's not cool to be shallow. i'd have more respect for women if less of them were shallow

Pretty much for the first time in my life I am with a woman who is not my "type".
All my girlfriends, lovers and wives were under 5'4", blonde and pretty muscular. I chose every one based on their looks and not one relationship lasted more than about 12 years.
But I am with my present girl friend because of common interests, mutual respect and because I like her as a person, not her body. Not that she's ugly or anything like that, but she's quite tall (as tall as I am), brunette and lithe. In high school she was offered a modeling contract, but she had no interest (no wonder I like her), preferring to become a professional equestrian.
I honestly believe that we will be together until "death do us part", because this time the relationship is NOT based on looks.

Yes this seems to be the norm.

Yuo noticed you are deep.

Yes it sounds like you're being shallow to me. Not dating a great guy because he's losing his hair. Hmmm. That is shallow but that's normal, especially at your age.

If you're not totally attracted to him then I'd suggest not dating him.

I've made the mistake in the past dating girls I wasn't that attracted to and I end up miserable and resenting them and myself for being there.

Sex and visual attraction for a male is HUGELY important.

I'd say less so for females because you look at males as the provider.

We take care of you females and if we find you attractive it makes us happy to, we want to.

Sometimes when I meet and start dating a new girl and I'm really attracted to her I feel more than horny for her. I also feel like protecting her and like I belong with her. It's kind of strange to describe.

Btw, if you keep spending time with him and he's actually a great guy that makes you feel good I'm betting you won't even care or notice his balding. Seriously. You'll know it's there but you won't have a stigma against it because you'll be so used to him and know what a great guy he is and how he makes you feel.

I've seen it plenty.
Literally girls (my good friends) have told me "NO WAY I'd never date that guy he's _____ whatever: too short, ugly, fat, bald, etc."
Then he doesn't go away but they hang out as 'friends'.
Then she finally gives in and hooks up with him.
Next thing I know they're married.
With kids...
LOL.

I think it's because you girls are so emotional and people get used to how other people look.
In other words when you first meet someone you notice many things about how they look.
But after spending time with them over and over you're just used to how they look and you know them and emotionalize with them the person not their appearance.

You are 20. You have the time to be shallow. I wouldn't even call it shallow, I would call it standards. I think you know what you really want and it's a matter of not lowering your standards. I am nearly 20, I will not lower my standards for anyone. I have the time to be picky and find my prince charming. If I am still single at 30, okay, I will then worry. But now, we are very young.