Is it normal to be so overprotective?

17% Normal
5 Comments

So I have been with this guy for over 2 years now he is 6 years older than me and he lives in a different country. Well actually he lives in colorado and I live in munich. He is a really jealous person like if I don't message him in a minute he gets so upset and says that I'm talking to another guy. He does that everyday and everyday we argue. He is searching everywhere on the internet to find stuff about me. It's not like I'm hiding anything. I really love him and I know he loves me too but is it normal to be so jealous?

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 46 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • plum6
    11 years ago

    I have been in a long distance relationship at one point (I admit, the distance wasn't nearly as far as in your situation) and I am in a relationship with a girl who has been close to me (distance-wise) for a while now. So I have personally experienced the difference between both situations.

    Considering this I can safely say that I think that jealousy is much more common and likely to be a large part of the relationship when distance is involved simply because you feel like you are not nearly as much involved in the other person's life as you would like to be.

    I do not want to defend his behaviour but please understand that he is simply worried because compared to close-distance relationship he is so far away from what is going on in your life that it can become pretty frustrating.

    This leads to a situation where when you do not text back immediately, he will feel like the relationship is less important than your daily endeavors which will make him feel excluded or in the worst case suspicious of what else you could be doing with another person that will make you not pay attention to your BF immediately.

    Me and my ex never got past this problem and it got worse when we started trying to make our own life and personal contacts more important in order to make the other feel like he or she did not matter that much to avoid the air of jealousy.

    If I could do it different I would have made an effort to show commitment and really do my best to make the other person feel special and involved. If possible meet up during vacations and involve him in your life by introducing him to people around you and show him how you interact with them (which I assume is normal).

    I am not going to sugarcoat it, it is a difficult situation but please do not feel smothered, monitored and hindered in your daily life because of him. It will only make you bitter about the whole thing.

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  • Short&2thepoint
    11 years ago

    Another one of these... Either get out of it now, or face the wrath of his abusive ass later. No joke.

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  • dinz
    11 years ago

    What kind of relationship is that if there is no trust in it? You are entitled to a life that you see fit not what your "master" wants.

    The fact he expects a reply and accuses you of cheating on him with other men should be ringing warning bells.

    tschüß!!

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Why are you still dating this guy? You can do so much better...

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    No. You should get out of that relationship.

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