Is it normal to be so lonely

72% Normal
18 Comments

Is it normal to be so alone on this planet fill of people. I call myself the minute person cause thats how long people will talk to me for or if they talk to me longer than 1 day they move on to the next person. Have you ever walked into a room and it goes dead quiet I have...all my life!!!I go on courses...yes meet people and we have fun but when the course finishes and I contact people they are busy...I get a job and everyone goes for drinks after work and they send me to somewhere else...I have tried to fit in but can't find anywhere...I'm 44 and very very lonely...I can stand in a crowd and be alone...is there any other person that feels like this??

Voting Results
72% Normal
Based on 47 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • sweetheart7
    12 years ago

    You are not the only person to feel like this and i am so sorry that you do feel like this. I wish i knew what to say to make you feel better :( I hope this works out for you

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    No. I don't think it is normal to be so lonely and unable of connect, not all the time.

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      *to connect (with other people)

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  • nobody/at/all
    14 years ago

    i enjoy how people have posted on my story and i have answered honestly mostly because i really want to know if its normal to be so lonely...i will continue to answer anything that is posted so hopefully my question will be answered...again thank you

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Well you have met some truly horrible people but I hardly think that you should judge yourself by those shits. I think they sensed that you were needy and felt they could just trick you. Some people are just nasty.

    And you have been alone for a long. long time. And you have sought help. So there has to be something about what you are doing or not doing to put yourself out there, take a few risks, cultivate relationships and make friends.

    I even wonder if that is what you want at all? Maybe loneliness is something you dislike, but prefer to making & sustaining relationships. Its just hard to believe that you have no hobbies or interests outside of work that would bring you together with other people.

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    • nobody/at/all
      14 years ago

      hey ollieo...i have to admit when people invite me to drinks after work i did get excited cause i hardly go out and looking back it would come across as needy especially saying 'yes i be there' 3 times before i just didn't go and they talk about what a good time they had in the staffroom however this happened in 2 of my jobs...

      yep I had joined different groups/hobbies...from hiking, biking, cooking, book clubs, studies,spotlight had hobbies class:scrapbooking, card making, pottery and even more extreme groups like churches, swingers, drinkers the same thing happened...i don't think theres a area that life can give that i haven't explored that has accept me as me...they just become another chapter in my life that gets closed and left lonely

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  • nobody/at/all
    14 years ago

    Heya rawrzm...I wonder what it be like if all the lonely people got together in one room knowing that we all have something in common...what would the ice breaker be???

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  • DES
    14 years ago

    The people who make you cry arent worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry

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    • nobody/at/all
      14 years ago

      heya des...very true...abit hard when it hurts though and hardening up I don't have that skill...

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    yeah it's normal... I have plenty of friends but still feel lonely at least once a day. So you're not really alone when so many other people feel the same way. :)

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  • nobody/at/all
    14 years ago

    Heya doubt...yes I am lonely and I wouldn't wish upon anyone at any age.

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  • Doubt
    14 years ago

    hmm...you are a lonley old person. Probably my life in 28 years.

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  • nobody/at/all
    14 years ago

    Heya funkman...its good to hear when one says they are working on themselves...and yes I have been down that road...been to self-help workshops and some of them were helpful, read self-help books some were good if you know of any send me a message, been to counselling with counselors, psychology and psychiatrist , even been on medication...during this time of years I did find out alot about myself and worked on alot of areas...thank you for that idea and good luck to you.

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  • PoisonFlowers
    14 years ago

    Yup, I'm working on this. I figured that since I'll be heading to uni soon, I need to learn how to socialise with people properly so that I can deal better with the few years I'll be there. So, I'm pushing myself to go on a trip where socialising with people will be unavoidable. And hey, maybe I'll meet some cool people and it won't be so bad. Maybe I'll enjoy it.

    Thos people who drop you after contact is no longer necessary and leave you out - why do you think that is? When you are "friends" for that brief period of time, do you feel relaxed and happy in their company and does it appear to be mutual?

    And what do you mean by the people at work "sending you somewhere else?"

    It does seem like you are doing the right things. Keep trying to meet new people and keep in contact with people you get along with. That's all I can think of really. If you find yourself clinging to anyone who seems friendly towards you, remember that that isn't the way towards a balanced relationship and just pushes others away.

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    • nobody/at/all
      14 years ago

      Heya poisonflowers...uni is really cool place and I meet alot of people, the longest course I did was 2 years. There were times when we would go out as a class and have a really good time, heaps of laughing, dancing, talking and I end the night thinking that was a really good night and people have even said that I was alot of fun and then next time we in class they don't want anything to do with me, and I'm on the "outer of the class" again. I can think of countless times when I have a really good conversation with different ones and then its like I'm avoided during the time I had at uni.

      I worked at jobs where I'm serving customers, eg: supermarket checkout operator, KFC counter staff, ticket master counter staff, car rental manager, house rental manager and I have loved it but the work colleagues are horrible. When they go for drinks they give me a different place than where they were at and when I see them they said 'oh we changed our minds' and laugh, not once or twice that happened but 3 times at couple of the jobs I've been at.

      I have never had 'friends' even at school I was always alone and I have wondered why am I here on this earth and feel so alone, its like no matter what I do and as you can see I've done alot, I can never have 'friends'.

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      • PoisonFlowers
        14 years ago

        Gosh...people are so confusing. What's with all this scheming and backstabbing etc? I wish things were simple. You know, people have a good time together and aren't horrible for no reason.

        There are quite a few places for people who feel similarly on the net. For example, http://webofloneliness.ning.com/

        You aren't nobody at all. You sound like a decent person. At least, more decent than those people who didn't want anything to do with you after a good night and so on. You made an effort to be friendly, which is more than you can say for many people. I hope that you don't give up on people completely.

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        • nobody/at/all
          14 years ago

          heya poisonflowers...I agree people are confusing however I do enjoy meeting people, they just don't like meeting me thats why I guess I go for jobs in customer service, I greet them, help them in their enquiry have a quick chat with them and then move onto the next customer...I have never understood people that backstab its extremely hurtful when it gets back to me and thats why I don't join in on gossip...I have checked out the website...just waiting for membership approval...I'm struggling with the thought that I'm ok most of the time I feel like crap don't know why i'm on this earth but only for people to fling crap at...funny enough except the customers...

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  • funkman
    14 years ago

    Very much the same.

    I am working hard on myself though because I know that I actually have been deliberately not letting people get close to me because I am afraid of true human connections and being vulnerable.

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