Is it normal to be sexually unsatisfied while being in love

6 Comments

There is no easy way to say this so I will just say it I cheated on my wife. I liked her and we got together over a longer time than it was really necessary to do so. I knew I wanted her for the longest time since we met in fact four years before the incident, allowing me time to fall for her in a seemly real way.

It's been a two years since now and I still find myself fantasizing about my one night with her and there are ones I have built up around the nights I could not let myself do what I knew was wrong.

I love my wife. I am still with her (she doesn't know about this event) but here is my problem. I want to say that I enjoy are sex life but the night I had with her was better in all respects I do not know if she was going out of her way to please me or if it was the taboo of the situation or even if it was simply that I had been building up sex with her in my mind for so long that her touch drove me to levels of ecstasy that I had never felt before or even just a combination of them all but I loved it and I would love to have the same sexual experience with my wife.

I was told for years that the best sex happens in a long term and loving relationship and that is what I have with my wife, not with the other woman but why them was sex better with her. Is this simply a lie I want to know what I can do I do not want to cheat on my wife but I do want to have a great and content sex life. I am sure this is normal but can I have both.

Oh and talking to her does not help she just gets all upset if I mention not being sexually satisfied.

Leave her for someone who fulfils me 1
Stay with her and get on with my life 0
Stay with her and cheat from time to time 3
Try in vain to improve my sex life as I have been 3
Other (please comment below) 0
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Comments ( 6 )
  • kelili
    11 years ago

    Everytime I read post like these I am unable to give an advice because I immediately think, "And if my boyfriend was like that?" Luckily these thoughts vanish as soon as I read another story.

    I'm gonna tell you the truth - my truth. Once I had an affair with a married man and while making love he confessed that it was his best time ever. To be exact he said, "My God, I've waited 48 years to feel that."

    I think that the fear of being discovered, eating from the forbidden tree, in a sense doing what is socially unacceptable brings some excitation. But it's only sex. When his wife discovered that he was having an affair my lover realised that even if his wife wanted to have sex only once per month she was a marvellous woman with whom he lived for twenty years. She was the mother of his two children and that she has been there in happy and tough times. He realised that this lady was really great and that he would be nothing without her support etc..

    I just wish that you realise those things.

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    • Terence_the_viking
      11 years ago

      So how old was this married man that you banged?

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Why do people even get married? I only read the first sentence. But seriously. If people are just going to go out there and fuck anyways, then marriage is essentially crap. Who even stays together? If nobodys perfect, then there can be no perfect marriage. Don't ever get married again please.

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  • prasatko
    11 years ago

    I have just voted but I cannot comment on this in more detail because it depends on many different things...
    But I just want to tell you that what you were told over the years (the best sex happens in a long term relationship) might be simply a lie, or an illusion or one form of wishful thinking popular with those people who think "it must be true because otherwise it would be sad"...

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    try other things maybe like tantric sex

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Okay tried it not helpful but thanks anyway.

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