Is it normal to be sexuallly attracted to any boy even if they're gay?

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I'm 18. I'm single. I've only ever been kissed a handful of times and I'm a virgin. I was a very sheltered kid (raised by my grand parrents) and never got to have "friends" till this past school year.Of course I dated behind their backs but I never actually "dated". I'm not that beautiful and half the time it was a joke. I started my rebellion at a young age.. 9. Anyways.. after a few jokes and the sweetheart who mooved, I decded Dating wasn't for me. Most men in my life are crule so I'm afraid to be along with a guy that I don't know well enough, never know what will happen.. I have been sexually abused by my mom's boyfriend a few years ago and I couldn't fight him off. I fell ion love with my romance novels, the men there couldn't hurt me.. well this year when I got myself some friends I realised how sheltered I was. Well my friends are gay. All 5 boys I am with everyday of my life are gay. Some are dating eachother, and there is one that I am not really attracted too but sometimes he hugs me or grabs my hips, cute little things that make me sexually attracted to him. I know he is gay and nothing would ever happen, and I don't "like" him.. I like what he does.. Is this normal? To be attrated to a Gay man, for the way he hlds me? Am I just desperate for love? (my appoligies for this being all over the place, but I felt as though some history was needed)

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Comments ( 1 )
  • drugsrbadmkay
    11 years ago

    Yes it is pretty typical. You want to have a relationship with a boy. But because of your lack of experience with boys your own age and/or because of your bad experience with your mom's boyfriend, you are afraid to get sexually involved with a boy. You said yourself about the men in your romance novels, "they can't hurt you". So, you chose boys who are "safe". You can be friends with gay boys without having to worry about your friendship being ruined by sex. The problem is you can't experience true love with a boy whose ideal mate is another boy. Eventually you will need to find the emotional strength to pursue an intimate relationship with a heterosexual boy. There are people who can help you work all this out, you need to find some way to talk to a therapist about it. I mean seriously. Talk to a therapist. You need to be able to move forward in your life. Don't let your mother's boyfriend's criminal action stop you from living your life.

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