Is it normal to be scared of sex cuz u were raped?

Very normal... Your BF has to understand that it is a big deal to you and that you suffered a traumatic experience.

See a psychologist about it. He or she will talk to you about it and hopefully it'll get you over that experience.

My Gf was raped by a kid at school that was 16 like me at the time and I was so pissed I nearly beat that kid who raped her to death thank god my friend stopped me from doing so

Is normal, I was sexually abused from 3 years old to 8 years old, and then rape in my adulthood twice. Every time I have sex with someone I just fake it, but inside I am in a lot of pain, all I want is for them to finish so that I don't feel the pain. Another problem is vaginal dryness which makes it more painful, i don't get aroused, I just fake it, it's embarrassing for me that men have to use lubricant because how dry I am

Your bf just doesn't understand, try and help him understand it's a very traumatic experience for you and he needs to reassure you and not get frustrated with you because of how you feel. And I agree with -WhySoSerious-, you need to go see a psychologist.. but, you need to bring your boyfriend with you and you guys need to discuss the issue and get some help on how to deal with it.

My wife is in the same boat. Understanding and working through it helps. Therapy helps.

Changing the setting to avoid "triggers" also helps. Avoid having a similar setting to the place you were raped.

For my wife and I, the shower is our favorite place, because it's "our" place, someplace she feels clean and sexy and is completely different.

Also out in public is good for her: the "alone together" thing is a big scary turnoff for her.

In bed... not good. Not good at all. Sometimes, she won't sleep a wink if we have sex there, if she doesn't get a flashback. But she does it sometimes because she wants to come to terms with it, and face it.

In that case, it works lots better with her on top. Then she has control and dominance and a very different pose than the passive victimisation she had before.

Discuss with your guy. Work out what works. Try things, and be prepared to say "no, this... this isn't working."

Sometimes you won't be able to say it, but if he's alert and sensitive, he'll notice the change, and will stop whatever's going on. Let him know in advance what you reckon will help best, then. Some like to be held and comforted; some like to be helped to their feet (having your feet on the ground can really help with flashbacks); my wife wants space and time to curl into a ball, so I just leave the room, reminding her I love her.

Sex is good, and fun, but it HAS to be on your terms.

This is actually something that I'm going through myself. It isn't easy, and I understand what you're going through. You have to be open with your boyfriend and let him know how you're feeling. But you don't have to tell him all that happened to you. If he loves you, he'll wait while you get help. Talk it out, or do whatever you have to do. I know it stinks. I was sexually abused when I was 3 years old and it still effects me. Just know that these things take time. Good luck, and stay strong. :)

I agree that u should see a psychologist about it and hopefully ur bf supports u

Yeah, just clear your mind before sex, and you'll do fine. Try to forget about the raping.

And I hope you feel better! Don't rush into it, wait until you are ready. :)

I think that's normal. Certainly such a negative experience would sour sex to you for a while.

Try seeing a phycyatrist, (I didn't spell that right) it is completely normal to be scared.

so NO FAKING EHY DONT YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND

ok ok ok bad grammer tells my this has to be fake so yeah like really you dont see us teenagers saying "o hia thre i iz goingz to a dat3 with my g f

this is very normal, have you've ever seen a shrink after the incident? if not, you really should.

U need some therapy. I had been raped too it was my first experience. So I recommend talking to a shrink and so ure able to have sex without freekin out

I was like this for many years after my childhood sexual abuse but over time I got completely over it and so can you! (I'm practically a sex maniac now with my fiancee'.) ^_^

Speak to a counselor, (and allow yourself to grieve), be gentle and loving with yourself; only allow gentle loving people to be around you as well and you will begin the healing process.

You'll get there!!

Very normal and you'll find a partner who you love it with one day :)

sex is not scary. But yes, given your very fortunate experience, your response is very normal. Get some professional help to get you through this journey you have been entrusted with.

You should talk to your bf and find someone to help you. Rape is an awfull thing and I am sorry tht it happened to you. God bless you.

If you werne't that would be a bit fucked up. But yeah as mentioned phsycologist.

Naturally, that had to be a very traumatic experience. And I think it makes a world of differenc whether or not your current male friend was even in the picture when that event occurred. I'm a male, and I can tell you that practically ALL of us would never permit something like that to happen, if we could do anything to prevent it. Similar to funerals, there is nothing we can say or do to reduce a survivor's great feeling of loss. But since it eventually happens to all of us, the period of mourning should not last the rest of our lives.
If your current male friend was NOT in the picture when this happened to you, if he's a good person he will keep that in mind and go at a slower pace with you until you're certain he has earned your full trust. No, I can't say that I know it's like to be raped. But, I think all of us know how to let water go under the bridge and move farther downstream. Many people have experienced a touch of food poisoning, but I doubt that any of us have eliminated eating out at restaurants.

i sat here and typed for an hour. backing up and trying again to get it right. but now... well i dont think you want to hear my story so ill just tell you this: talk to your man. trust him. maybe, at night if he is a very heave sleeper get ontop of him and just imagine it. i suggest sleeping or he might get bored. when you can picture it in your head, the whole thing and not freakout. take it a step farther. get ontop of him when hes awake and talk it out. get use to the thoughts first, then the physical things. it makes it alittle easier.

I think a lot of people who've been raped feel afraid of sex. Someone took something that is supposed to be a loving act between two people who care about each other and used it in a traumatic situation, so naturally you are going to associate it with your trauma, even though you know logically that with your boyfriend, it's a different situation.
I think you should still see a therapist to help you work through what happened to you, but what you're feeling now is quite common.

Yes it is absualutly normal. you were raped and that messes with your emotions. its normal to feel conflicted about sex after something like that

Seek professional help through a therapist. I'm sure your boyfriend will be supportive.

It's normal, but something you can get past with effort from you, most likely professional help and patience on his part!