Is it normal to be repulsed by a turn-on?
There are a few things that turn me on, but there is one of them in particular that gives me an extremely strong sense of arousal that I find abhorrent at the same time. I cannot engage in this activity without feeling a strong wave of disgust and shame, but I'm still getting sexual pleasure from it. Sometimes the disgust is so strong that I feel slightly nauseous, and on one hand want to stop, but the carnal side just wants more.
Has this happened to anyone else? What might cause such a reaction? It is one of the most arousing activities I've partaken in, but I wind up "purging" my mind later because the thoughts related to this activity are completely and utterly unpleasant.
Note: It's nothing that could be viewed as morally reprehensible, such as slavery or rape play, so it'n not my conscience holding me back.