Is it normal to be religious but unable to be sorry for being mean?

You sound like an egotist. You are not normal. Many of your sentences are contradictory. And since I'm already here:

"help people all the time" // "don't want to be around people who have problems"

"strive on being perfect// "mean, unforgiving and manipulative"

"Except when I am in a close relationship"//"including my mother and my boyfriend of more than five years"

"not with someone who always complains about their ills or problems"//"I have severe irritable bowel syndrome... makes me feel stressed or ill"

There's a few other discrepancies but whatever. I'm no professional, but lady, you need help. Of course you won't get it because you think your the hottest shit on the planet. BUT I digress. Don't have kids, you will hate them and they will hate you.

The problem may be... whether or not they're really always whining or complaining. or if that's just what you're calling it.

From what you've written it sounds a bit like you only want to associate with your family when it's "good times". And when it's bad times you don't have the time of day for them because it's "stressful".

I mean sure if illness is really flaring up because of stress that's one thing, but if it's used as a reason to ditch family cos you don't want to be bothered when they're not all rainbows and sunshine... I can see how that would come off as being selfish.

Problem is, you're striving for perfection when you are supposed to be striving for excellence.

And of course you want to surround yourself with good influences. That's the smart thing to do. But you can't control everything and everybody. You can't be everyone's hero and you can't be perfect. Such is the problem of being a human.

You said that you strive to be perfect, help people all the time and try to do the right things.
In the same breath, you said you go to church every Sunday. How did you get there? Did you walk or did you thoughtlessly get in your automobile, and waste valuable resources we will all need in the near future?
Practically speaking, what did going to church accomplish to help people?

You shouldn't strive on being perfect, because nobody is perfect. Just strive on being a good person. Don't expect so much from people, not everybody is going to like you all the time. Not worth batting an eye over.

you and me probably should NOT cross paths............read my user name if you dont understand

I'm going to be blunt. Stop expecting so much from others. Life is meant to be a roller coaster.
Expect to fail and be let down. It's good to have this in your at times so you grow and learn from it. Relax a little. I don't say put up with constant bs but let little things go.. No ones perfect! Good luck

You just sound very confused. The right thing is not about church. Just because you walk into a building does not make you a better person. "Doing" what you are being taught in that building is what would probably help you.

If your so religious then why do you manipulate mercilessly? You know a god-fearing individual does not seek to make others do everything they want them to, and if they don't then deceive them verbally.

Ask yourself: Would Jesus forgive you? Does "Jesus" manipulate people? You got your answer.

IIN to be religious but unable to be sorry for being mean?

Yes, it is normal to be a walking contradiction young woman.