Is it normal to be judgmental all the time?

69% Normal
13 Comments

I just want it to end. It's getting too much for me: Now I can't even have a good conversation without silently and immediately judging the person in front of me. I hate myself for it and it's even spiraled into my relationship with everyone I come into contact with. Any idea how I could stop this? I have to do it on my own, mind you. I've no access whatsoever to counseling, group therapy or outside help. Plus, I'm ashamed of this to no limits. Any insights, tips and sincere advice are tremendously appreciated. Thanks in advance.

I believe [very wrong, I know] all people are not to be distrusted and everyone is either too lazy or too ... [insert your overly used stigma here].

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 32 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • earth_lovelies
    10 years ago

    Judging is normal when a gun is pointed to your head. Listen, you need to boost your self-esteem a bit. When you start a conversation with somebody, the feelings and outcomes always depend on how you feel about yourself. Since we can't control people to not do things that bother us, we can still control how we feel about situations.

    This is a real life example: My mom's new boyfriend grew up in a troubled neighborhood. No one was there to teach him how to act around women. He lives with 3 women now. So his manners are not the same as ours.

    I chose to be offended when he gets rude. And therefore I saw him through a lens that made him appear as such a pig and therefore everything he did I had to judge it.

    The only reason I got offended in the first place was because I thought he was doing it to annoy me. Once I changed my thinking from that to: "Hm, that's him. That's kinda funny but whatever, back to what I was doing..." Then I applied that positive attitude to everything he did that annoyed me and all of a sudden, I think he's such a cool guy.

    I think you should start realizing what makes people like you and then be that same person. They don't say: "She's great, she judges everything I do". Haha. You get it. It's all about knowing that once you know who you are and you engage in a conversation with a purpose, it will be so easy not to judge because whatever they think about you is none of your business.

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    • EyePWhenIt'sSun-E
      10 years ago

      Thanks for the detailed reply :) Let me get this right, I judge others because I'm not confident enough?

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      • earth_lovelies
        10 years ago

        You got it right. We do a lot of extra things as human beings in hope that something else will build our confidence for us.

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        • EyePWhenIt'sSun-E
          10 years ago

          Okay, got it. But truth be told, I don't believe that's why I'm judgmental to begin with & the people around me really give me good reason to label them as I do. Thanks anyway :)

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          • earth_lovelies
            10 years ago

            The people around you go against your values, don't they?

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            • EyePWhenIt'sSun-E
              10 years ago

              Yes. My values are the universal ones though, not special, not my own.

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  • Gamzeee
    10 years ago

    Judge people all you want. Nobody gives a damn.

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    • EyePWhenIt'sSun-E
      10 years ago

      You're missing the point. I don't "give a damn" about what others think. What I do care about is this: Being judgmental has poisoned everything for me. I can't enjoy anything. That's the problem I need possible solutions for.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    Go watch 'Zoo keeper II: Zookeepier'

    Any one get the obscure reference?

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    • kingofcarrotflowers
      10 years ago

      No :(

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    • EyePWhenIt'sSun-E
      10 years ago

      Stan having to take a sip of alcohol before he can even get out of the house? Yeah, I get it!

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