Is it normal to be jelous of lapis from steven universe

this started about around august and ever since then iv had a crush on peridot, now this is also why i despise lapidot, and kinda like stevidot because all my friends tell me i look like steven, anyways every time i go on the internet now its always lapidot in my face, its gotten to a point were almost every website i go onto there will be a huge wall of fan art of lapidot, now i dont hate people that ship it (in fact one of my best friends ships it) but i hate how popular this is, and im kinda nervous that it will be cannon.... so in the end i'm jelous of lapis, i have a HUGE crush on peridot and im not a fan of lapidot, and i ship stevidot because it makes me think if she was real what would happen, anyways, i guess this is two questions, both are, is it normal to have a HUGE crush on a space dorito and to be jelous of an emo