Is it normal to be jealous of my mans ex

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18 Comments

so my nieghborhood is very close .most of us..we akl grew up together.my boyfriend is nine years older then me and used to go out with the girl across the street from him..her family still lives ther but she doesnt.i also used to see her littler brother. but recently i found out there having a partu or reunion wich my boyfriend is going to attend...i dmt think im invited or id go too..and i know his ex is gunna be there and to use the word lightly shes a flirty little slut. i seen her recemtly soo tacky..i trust him but at the same time jealousy takes over..am i wrong..it hurts he doeant even care to try and understand he says hes not going there for her..bit its just the point of her bieng there and me not bieng there...he triped one time cuz my ex showed up to a club we were at and i had no knowledge of him coming...but he knows shes gunna bebthere man i have no choice hes gunna go..how do i deal?

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77% Normal
Based on 35 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • kellstar79
    12 years ago

    My advice is, on the day/night of the reunion, go out. Go out with friends to a club or whatever but do not stay home! You will still be thinking about it and wonder what he's doing but you will have distractions and be busy to keep your mind off it. You either have to trust him or be a jealous mess. But seriously don't stay home or you will go insane

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    • savemefrommyself
      12 years ago

      yea i was thi king of that...i i dnt wanna be jealous i know he wont cheat on me..i guess its my own problems in my head or somthing...it just sucks most of the time hed invite me...i mean i know the people too! wtf. anyway guess i better make plans:-)

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  • savemefrommyself
    12 years ago

    ur a wierdo...anyways...back to me:-) sooo EEVERYBODY! TODAY IS THE DAY...OF THE DREDDED PARTY....IVE PLANNED A WHOLE DAY AT THE BEACH ALONG THE BOARDWALK...OR.PIKE WHATEVER UD LIKE TO CALL IT...IM WEARING MY BATHING SUIT BUT OF COURSE LIITLE CUT OFF JEAN SHORTS AND A BACLEES SHIRT WHICH I RECENTLY PURCHASED THANKS FOR THAT ADVICE..IM NERVOUS BUT I WORE MYSELF OUT OVER IT...I COULD GO WITH HIM IF I WANT BUT FOR MY OWN SANITY...ILL.PASS..UR ADVICE HAS MADE ME REALIZE WE LOVE EACHOTHER AND HES NOT GINNA HURT ME...AS A MATTER A FACT U SAID TO SHOW OFF A NEW LOOK AND I DID THURSDAY JUST AS A PREVOEW FOR HIM..TO SEE WHAT HED BE MISSING...HE HATED AMD LOVED IT CUZ OF HOW MUCH ATTENTION I WAS GETTING! HERES TO HAPPINESS TRUST AND STABILITY..WISH ME LUCK GET BACK AT ME MUCH LOVE......:-D

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Well what you need to understand is doing something like what you describe in public will most likely be frowned on. I mean lets say you go to a club and you need to take a shit, but every stall is taken up with people blowing lines of coke, so the only available course of action is to shit in the urinal, now I have been presented with this same scenario once when I was on a steam trawler heading out to the East Indies, we were on a great voyage to find Skull Island and the last remaining home of King Kong. On the trip there we ran out of supplies and had to start eating pieces of coal to survive, now when I had to shit out the coal I shit in the urinal and then showed it to the Captain, he wasnt happy with what I did, but he understood my predicament enough to where he only made me eat some of the shit and not all of it. Monkeys like to throw their shit around and King Kong was no exception, except he had huge amounts of shit to throw around enough to drown a man in it. This can be dangerous, until we met a man well trained in the art of shit dodging, he taught us all he knew and then died. Where was I again? Thats right, hairy balls.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    why be jealous?

    i mean you cannot steal a man who's not willing to cheat

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    • savemefrommyself
      12 years ago

      thats what i need to keep telling myself...hes a good guy i need to trust him...but really...he know this would upset me...its like hes testing me guess ill.just have to grin and bare it...and by the way does anybody know if i should hold this over his head ? i want to but i guess i shpould just let him go and when he comes hom be nice like nothing happened right?

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        That's perhaps the problem...

        You say you know he won't cheat but then you say you'll be upset if he spends any time near his ex.

        Perhaps you need to decide what you really feel. Either you trust him or you don't.

        Because remember, sometimes grilling a man over "why did you do this?" is what encourages them to **leave**

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        • savemefrommyself
          12 years ago

          yea thats why im just gunna c
          ose my mouth and deal with it..i know he loves me and wont hurt me so ima try and go out and not worry. i do trust him...its just things that happened to me in the past that im afraid might happen again...but i need to realize its not. but i still dont want him to go...:-)

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Pretend to be more mature than you are and say nothing - just fume inside. He really should understand and invite you along too.

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    • savemefrommyself
      12 years ago

      exactly instead he tings iman idiot for not trusting him and said to get over it becuase my feelings are dumb becuase they are wrong...i never win

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      • joybird
        12 years ago

        It's natural to be jealous even though you know he won't cheat. He can hardly cheat when you know people there too and also just remember she's an ex for a reason.

        How long have you two been together?

        When I was going out with my husband for about 2 months I saw his ex holding hands with him. I say it that way coz he'd no interest in her but I have never ever mentioned it in over 25 years!! It was her attempt to make me jealous, I wouldn't please her! Just in case she asked him what I'd said about it.

        You never know, he might invite you along at the last minute. He could be just winding you up. But... if not, get out with the girls and pretend you forgot all about him going there!! He's not being fair to you - go out and find better!

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        • beastie
          12 years ago

          Great advice!!
          Yes - OP don't give the ex the satisfaction. I'd be making arrangements NOW for what I'd be doing the night of the part - out with the girls, something fun....if you can afford it, buy something new to wear....or a new look....have so muich fun you won't have time to think about this.

          Your boyf will think you are the coolest, most confident girl he's ever met (not like his skanky ex) and he'll miss you so much that night.

          If you go you'll regret it IMO. It'll look like you're insecure and need to keep an eye on your man. You're better than that, right?

          Another thing if you go - his ex will keep upping the ante to annoy you if she can. She'll end up doing something outrageous to get you going. Again, don't give her the chance or the satisfaction!

          As poster above said, say nothing more about the ex or party to your man. Then if he gets asked how you feel about it by people hoping to hear you're bothered, he won't have anything to tell them except "oh my girlf wasn't interested in your party, instead she got all glammed up and hit the town with her friends!". (Then he'll be so busy wondering about his hot girl on the town he won't be able to wait for party to be over lol!!!)

          Trust me on this and good luck :)

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          • savemefrommyself
            12 years ago

            ur so right..and thanks..u well my plan was to go to the beach but the weather said its gunna be 64 degrees ouch! so i gotts swich it up...i dnt wanna go drinken ill get drunk and nothing good will come ofthat.... my girl might not even be able to go out with me that day and all my other friends are guys whom a rarley talk to...any suggestions? this is harder then it sounds ..well to me...

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            • beastie
              12 years ago

              Have you any relatives you could visit? EVen get out of town for the weekend? Or book yourself into a spa? I know some of these ideas might sound quite expensive.

              You're right, you don't want to get really drunk - no good will come of that. You're so right there.

              Keep thinking of an idea.

              Also, sounds like you need more friends in your life. You could make plans to increase your social circle and get out there. This would be good in the longer-term cos if you don't make sure you have a full and busy life, you will be too dependent on your boyf for your happiness. This is never good. I know, I was there when I was young. Wish I'd learned sooner!

              The more you have a life and show your boyf you have a life, the more he will try to be with you. If you care too much about everything he thinks and does he'll just take you for granted.

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        • savemefrommyself
          12 years ago

          weve been together alittle over a year...there close with that family ans im not so i guess i wouldnt go even if invited..but its just the thought i presume..wow this is hard i think she has a boyfiend now but i dnt know if shell bring him to the party. the thought of that moment if and when they spot eachother and possibly hug and smile and talk just errks me...i know going out will help but ill still be thinken of him and knowing where hes at...i was gunna go to the beach but of coirse with my luck weather said its gunna be cold lol

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          • beastie
            12 years ago

            Read my post above....you know what to do now. Please remember to give us an update!

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