Is it normal to be jealous of my girlriend's future husband?

74% Normal
22 Comments

My girlfriend is great. She loves me and I love her. She REALLY loves me, but is practicing abstinence until marriage because she feels she will love whoever she marries more than anyone, and thinks he'll be perfect for her. When I say abstinent I mean nothing more than kissing on the lips/cheek/forhead. No touching anything a swimsuit would cover, under or over the clothes. Is it normal that I'm jealous and feel slightly betrayed? It's not the no sex that bugs me (ok it does but that's not it) it's that I feel like she's holding out for a better guy that she'll like more and who'll just be so much better than me.

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 73 votes (54 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • charli.m
    10 years ago | pl

    Um. Why do you think that you won't be her husband?

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    • Shackleford96
      10 years ago

      +1

      Sounds like he's already made up his mind that he won't be or doesn't want to be or something.

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      • charli.m
        10 years ago

        Ikr? I mean really...

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        • Shackleford96
          10 years ago

          It also leads to the suspicion that maybe he's just in it for the sex to begin with?

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          • hobart
            10 years ago

            Not in it for the sex, if I was I could've gotten with a few different girls I know. I genuinely do like (if not love) her. I was just curious if it was normal to feel the way I do, if I was in it for sex I would've left two months ago. Guess I'm just insecure.

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            • Shackleford96
              10 years ago

              Okay, well you don't have to prove anything to me. I was just saying what it kind of sounded like. Didn't mean to offend or anything.

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    • Terence_the_viking
      10 years ago

      Oof beat me to it.

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  • flowergirl87
    10 years ago

    Here's a thought... YOU might be her husband. But don't marry just for sex etc., please! lol. Depends, I mean you might not want to marry and if she is adamant she will then I guess it might not be a long term arrangement between you. Just see how it goes. And you seem lovely and it's great that you respect her wishes. Some guys would leave : /

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Maybe that is her way of telling you she wants you to be her husband.

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  • Justsomejerk
    10 years ago

    Propose or bail.

    Life's too short.

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    Do you want to merry her? Seems like she doesn't want to have sex with you because she feels like if you don't want to merry her you don't love her enough..

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  • SuperBenzid
    10 years ago

    Bail out as quickly as you can. She will have unrealistic expectations of marriage and obviously has the princess mentality. Marriage will be nightmare as life continually fails to live up to her unrealistic expectations. Don't blame her for it though, it is society that programs people this way.

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  • loopoo
    10 years ago

    You should be lucky you got yourself a girl like it, she obviously has respect for herself, one in a million in a society like ours.

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    • hobart
      10 years ago

      I hear ya, I live her for it.

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    • GuessWho
      10 years ago

      That fact that people are willing to thumb this comment down just goes to prove how corrupt this society has become.

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  • devil-in-skirt
    10 years ago

    cute =3

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  • DandyElfman
    10 years ago

    Lots of people wait it does not mean she is holding out for better. It is like saying if you love me enough you will marry me. Some guys will tell any girl that he loves her just to fuck her and after will run off and forget about her. So the women becomes nothing but another slut. However I would be rather frustrated being in a relationship if I could not kiss, hug or hold that persons hand. I mean if you are not going to whats the point?

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  • ibreathelectric
    10 years ago

    The whole idea of abstinence is brilliant. But her way of going about explaining it to you is a bit hurtful, considering she's implying that you might not be the one for her. Those things are obviously thought between partners in a budding relationship, but not outrightly said/implied. If you're serious about her, then gradually ease into discussing marriage with her. That's your first step. If you can't see a future with her, then ditch it bro!

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  • hobart
    10 years ago

    I know why she's doing it, I understand her reasoning. But it doesn't change my feelings about it. Honestly her reasoning makes perfect sense and I admire it; however, I still feel the way I do. You're right though, this is probably just an extension of my insecurity as I really don't like her hanging around guys, including her gay/bi friends. I don't say anything about it, and I would never try and suggest she not hang out with them because it makes me uncomfortable. We've been together four months and don't see it ending soon.

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  • hobart
    10 years ago

    We're too young.

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    • ProseAthlete
      10 years ago

      If you feel you're too young to marry, she probably feels she's too young for sex, totally aside from the whole saving-myself-for-marriage aspect. .

      Feeling frustrated would be understandable, but it's hard to see how you could feel jealous or betrayed. That's your own lack of self-confidence talking. She could very well intend to be with you on her wedding night; in fact, she almost certainly believes that. Short-term boyfriends tend to be flings, and a woman who's abstinent isn't really flinging anything.

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    • SEWnanist23
      10 years ago

      Ah! To be a baby like that again, just for one day.

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