Is it normal to be jealous of anorexic girls/ women ?

Ok, I'm really putting myself out there with this comment, and it might be a really bad idea, but I think this is important. I hope it helps you.

I have an eating disorder. I was bulimic for years. I didn't tell anybody then, but I wanted to be anorexic so badly. I knew it was wrong to want it. I knew anorexics weren't REALLY in control. But I couldn't break this awful, disordered, dangerous cycle that wasn't even making me thin, that nobody could even see. I would diet and restrict, and then I'd get too hungry. I ate and ate and ate, and then I purged. I felt so out of control when I binged, it was like watching someone else eat, looking out through her eyes. Purging was the only way I could deal with the binging. Sometimes I had periods where I did "better" (I thought of barely eating and not binging as doing well). Over the past couple years, I've managed to stop purging almost entirely. I slip up, sometimes, but I'm doing much better with that.

I'm not really better, though. I'm not anorexic either, really, at least not yet. In the past, I've had periods of time when I could eat normally. Over the past three weeks or so though, things have been bad. This is partially because of medication that suppresses my appetite, but my eating disorder makes it very difficult for me to resist and force myself to eat, especially when I'm losing weight rapidly (it's worth noting that it's common for anorexics to use medication to suppress their appetites). I suddenly have the control I always wanted, and it's awful. I've been eating steadily less every day. It feels good for a second, standing on the scale, but overall, I feel horrible. I'm terrified. Yesterday, I tried to drink some almond milk, and I threw up. I keep walking to the kitchen and coming back out without getting anything to eat. I'm physically weak. I don't know how to stop, and I don't know if I want to.

My hope is that my appetite will return, but I'm also scared of that. I'm so confused and frightened, and I'm not even in that deep. I wish I'd never started, but part of me doesn't want to stop until I'm thin. I'm afraid that by the time I'm thin enough to meet my standards, I'll be dying, if I even get to that point. Did I mention that severely restricting your calorie intake can kill you before you're thin? It's really hard on your heart.

I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. I'm asking you to get help. You're important and valuable and worth taking care of. It sounds like you've got some disordered eating behaviours, and it's really important to address those, whether they're making you starve or binge. Wanting to be anorexic is a disordered mindset, and you should talk to somebody about it.

I'll probably delete this comment later. I don't want this to be floating around if somebody eventually figures out who I am in real life.

Pretty normal, but not right. Anorexia is all about lack of control. I often wish that I had the strength to starve myself, but then I remember that it's more of a weakness than an asset. Good luck.

You know that thats basically the same as a baby claiming they envy old senile people with diapers because they have more control?

Being overweight can be unhealthy, being anorexic can be deadly.
They have no more control than you, because if they HAD control, they could in fact force themselves to eat and KEEP at a certain weight.
You can be jealous of slim girls, fine. But anorexia is an illness, and it's very much defined by their lack of control over their diet to an extend that makes it dangerous.

As for your own lack of control, is it really an illness or only a lack of control?

Well I suppose in a way it is normal, because you admire them for the will power they poses to resist food and hunger (a human survival desire) which you do not poses. However, many people with anorexia are very unhappy. Although they may poses the will power to restrain their hunger (an attractive trait in your eyes) most of them are very unhappy, which I doubt is something you would want to be jealous about

It's normal to be geleous. But you will never look thin if you never do anything to change it.

I started dating a bitchy girl then pms started and she got nice perfect she is relly nice and sexy and I love her when hormones tell her to fuck me

Makes sence girls act difrent during pms (bitchy girls act sweet as hell nice girls act mean as fuck just depends on hou your brain deals with the hormones) a hightened sence of awareness would make sence my best friend is the same way (antho I wouldn't kno lol)

Normal, but perhaps "flawed"? I have it and it comes and goes.
Do you call that control?
On the outside, it appears that we have control when we really don't. It's the ED that has all of the control not the person.

I used to be anorexic so I still have that little wheedling voice in the back of my head - almost constantly. It looks easy from the outside but trust me - being healthy and happy is worth so much more. It is impossible to be truly happy - even for a moment - if you're anorexic. Anorexia is all self-hatred, and any satisfaction derived from it is extremely brief, and generally comes crashing down at the first confrontation with a mirror, food, or someone you perceive as thinner.

Not normal. I really, really hope, for your sake, that you never develop an eating disorder. Sure, you may think it's desirable now, but coming from someone who has been there, it is NOT fun! And by the way, we do have an appetite, all we ever think about is food, it's torture pretty much.

Then maybe gain your self control back? I wouldn't be jealous of anorexic girls, though. After a while they just look like they're on meth.

Become bulimic! Have your cake, eat it too, then sick it up into the toilet - winning!