Is it normal to be jealous in this way?

Basically, I am a jealous person and I am not asking whether jealousy is normal or whether I am jealous.
My question is about this aspect of jealousy: When my girlfriend puts on sexy or provocative clothes when she goes out (to work, public transport, shopping etc), I automatically feel a strong sting or attack of jealousy from the fact that other men will see her in it and it will make them feel sexually attracted to her (probably having erections or thoughts about how to get her in bed etc).
Clarifications:
1.example of sexy clothing: black top, red mini skirt, black stockings/pantyhose or fishnets, sexy make up, red nail polish...
2.I am not repusled by this appearance, on the contrary, I find it sexually arousing and suppose that other men will have the same response
3.I am fully aware that I have no right to change her dressing style because of my feelings
4.She says she is not interested in other men and that she does not wear it in order to attract their attention.

Is it normal to be extremely jealous (painful feelings) because of the way other men may react to her appearance when this appearance is sexually arousing to me? Is it normal to feel pain when I think of their possible fantasies and her role in their fantasies?

Voting Results
100% Normal
Based on 7 votes
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Comments ( 14 )
  • If she is doing it, knowing that she is bringing that attention to herself, and that you do not like it, then as a loving partner, she should put her feelings for you ahead of her clothing.
    If she is not willing to change, then she is not changing such things as clothing for your emotions. This would imply she cares more about her clothes and how people see her than she cares about your emotions and you completely.

    You can't force her to not wear cetain clothes, she is the one that chooses that, but if she puts clothing before you, then it is completely understandable and completely your choice to leave her to find someone that would take your feelings in to consideration more than their clothing.

    She may not know you feel this way. If you have simply said "don't wear those" without explaining why, then she may not know of your feelings on the matter, in which you should explain. If you already have, or after telling her your feelings of why that she continues, then my advice would be find someone that cares more about your feelings than her clothing and how everyone else sees her.

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    • Thanks, your way of thinking makes perfect sense. I thought I was the only man thinking in that line. Nice to see I am not the only one.

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  • iEatZombies_

    I find it safe to assume she's always done this, also that you've always been the jealous type. You set yourselves up. You can't expect each other to change, unless you both feel like you want your own selves to change.

    If you're worried about her wanting attention, don't worry too much. Girls do genuinely like to dress how they feel is pretty simply to feel good about themselves. I know a lot guys want it to be for other reasons, but dressing up is more for the girl doing it, not the guys seeing it. In most cases, anyway. Unless she's given you other reason to be jealous, this case it probably where it's at.

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  • Maybe some additional questions:
    -For males: do you get jealous, feel uncomfortable or have painful feelings when you think that other men are sexually attracted to your partner and having sexual fantasies about her? I mean, even if she does not reciprocate their interest and does not flirt with them.
    -For females: Do you think that your boyfriend gets jealous when you (also unwillingly) attract the attention of other men?

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    • iEatZombies_

      My fiance and I are both jealous types who understand and respect that about each other. I like feeling nice about myself while not attracting unnecessary attention. I dress a little more revealing only when I know he'll be around. Guys don't usually hit on other guys girlfriends so horribly in this case.

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  • lonelyfuntimes

    If she dresses provocative... men are going to naturally get turned on by her and will hit on her...hopefully she won't do it while partying...cause more likely she will end up sleeping with someone else... She evidently does like the attention and likes that people think she is sexy...and women check out men also....

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    • sunshinemoonlight

      true

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  • If my boyfriend dressed like that, I'd be concerned for him but I'd still trust him to be faithful to me.

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    • lol:) Thanks for commenting. Just to clarify - it is not that I do not trust her or doubt her intentions or faithfulness, it is that I hate the thought that other men will be sexually aroused by her, not that she would cheat on me. I know it may sound silly, that´s why I opened this thread...

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      • Glad I made you smile.

        I understand you. This won't make you feel any better, but men are going to think that way about her no matter how she dresses.

        When I was younger, I loved going to the clubs to dance to the loud music, what a riot. I had a killer body (no exaggeration there either) but I was probably the most fully clothed girl there most nights because I was so conservative about my appearance. That did not stop men from leering at me, grabbing my boobs/ass, or buying me drinks.

        I think this is just something you're going to have to come to terms with.

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        • Yes, I know. I cannot blame them for that and certaintly I cannot blame her. I just hope that their desires will not be fulfilled:)

          Thanks again for your comment.

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  • shuggy-chan

    marry a mormon then

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    • Thanks for your well-meant suggestion:)

      I love my girlfriend so I will marry neither a mormon nor a muslim. Moreover, I am an atheist (and so is she), so I am not going to change one small problem for thousands big ones.

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      • shuggy-chan

        well have you ment neuro? she is awesome, but is already taken, but hell i love a shot with her, and she is a mormon

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