Is it normal to be introverted and distant, yet sociable and friendly?

92% Normal
16 Comments

So, this is my issue.

I usually don't like being around lots of people all the time. I value silence and cherish the time that I spend by myself. On another point, I also have lost most of my faith in humanity and I really don't trust people.

However, when I do interact with other people, I am always friendly. To be honest, I consider myself quite sociable and easy to befriend. I would go as far as saying that I can be quite charming even without trying.

Actually, I don't actually "hate" people and I do enjoy having friends. And even though I am certain that everyone will just end up disappointing me, I always let people get really close to me.

Yet again, even though I am quite open, I don't truly "care" about anyone deep inside. The truth is that even when other people feel super close to me, I have found a way to keep a comfortable and imperceptible distance from everyone. I can drop friendships immediately and without hesitation as well, I have never felt truly attached to anyone.

And well, I just wanted to know if these traits are too contradicting or just normal. What do you think people?

Voting Results
92% Normal
Based on 51 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Holzman_67
    10 years ago

    I am both an introvert and an extrovert. I swing from both in pretty radical extremes. It frustrates the hell out of my friends. I can be a very social person but also a very private person. I am full of contradictions. I love solidarity, but I'm also a strong individual and love individuality.

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    • dom180
      10 years ago

      I feel exactly the same way :) It gets on the nerves of the people I love too.

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    • jmac5977
      10 years ago

      I'm exactly the same way, having the same impact on friendship. This is very normal for people who want/need quiet time to recharge. Sometimes I just want to be left alone.

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  • Pisslan616
    10 years ago

    I have been told to think of the difference between introverts and extroverts as a difference in the way they charge their metaphorical batteries.

    And extrovert charges himself by interacting with other and expend that mental energy when they are alone.

    Introverts use up this metaphorical mental energy when they are interacting with others. Introverts can be the life and soul of the party but they need their time alone to recuperate.

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    • pinotgrigi-ho
      10 years ago

      I was just going to say this! I think most think of introverts as hermits, and extroverts as party animals, when most people like a bit of both, and the extremes are just exaggerated and false. Introverts like people too usually, and extroverts usually enjoy some me time as well.

      The term basically categorizes people by how they recharge- by being alone, or being out.

      I'm a lot like you though, OP. i'm bubbly and charming in social situations and at work, not forced. I chit chat with store clerks, and make friends easily. I do prefer to be home with my husband and baby though. I'd skip parties most of the time if I could, chill at home instead. Most of my friends aren't best close friends, though, because i'm not the type to call and make plans. ever.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        10 years ago

        I never like he "recharging" analogy that much. Because I think both sides "recharge" by being around people or being alone. At the same time, both get tired eventually of each activity. I think the difference is in which is a priority and in which activities makes you get tired faster. An extrovert can be around people having fun for days, but after a long time they also need to "recharge" by being alone. It is the same with me, I like being by myself the whole week, but on weekends I need to meet my friends at least once to feel ok.

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  • kawaiigurl
    10 years ago

    are you me? am i you?

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You sound normal, although a bit cynical and lacking in empathy.

    Your post focuses mostly on what you feel other people can do for you and you don't really mention what you bring to the relationships you have. Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.

    Perhaps you haven't matured emotionally yet; it happens at different times for everyone and some people never do.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I consider myself to be quite self-sufficient... so I treat those who can do nothing for me (mostly everyone) just as I said... in a friendly way. I can have a blast with people, but it doesn't mean that I will be best man at their weddings or the godfather of their kids.

      Maybe you are right about the emotional maturity... though I do understand people feelings actually, I just don't find them in myself. I know that people are supposed to care for each other and get closer and closer... but I just cannot get attached to anyone.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    People are complicated things. Very few people have every stereotypically introverted trait or every stereotypically extroverted trait. Every possible combination is as normal as the other, really. That's what I think.

    As for me... lots of people tell me I'm very difficult to dislike. Only a few people I know dislike my personality, and those people seem to have a very strong dislike. So on that point, I suppose I'm similar to you. I think that - likeability, charm, whatever you want to call it - is a very common trait among people who are strongly self-aware, if that's the right hyphenated word :P

    Then we're very starkly different on other points. I love people, I love spending most of my time with the people I love, and I have trust and faith in humanity in general. At the same time, I can cast people off very easily if it's the right thing to do; no matter how much I care about someone I'm the same as you in that I can detach and distance myself from them.

    We're all a mixed bag :P

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      "Only a few people I know dislike my personality, and those people seem to have a very strong dislike"

      I think that people with these traits can be quite likeable for many reasons. For instance, I value a lot my personal space and analyzing my thoughts, so I think that that makes you respect other people in this aspect; by being a good listener while also not being invasive. I don't want to generalize, but I think that the typical extroverted person can be a little selfish in these matters.

      Yet, about the people that dislike our type, I guess that some people really take it to heart when you reject and activity or you just say that you want to be alone.

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  • Psoriano
    10 years ago

    Didn't read, LOL.

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  • TheAnarkyOfLife
    10 years ago

    Society pushes us away from close relationships!

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  • fallen_spark
    10 years ago

    GOOGLE:
    Ambivert

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  • vigorousjammer
    10 years ago

    I was with you until you said you never get super close with anybody.
    That doesn't sound normal to me.
    The rest of it sounds fine.

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  • Lonely2
    10 years ago

    Do you have intimacy..it sounds like a lack of intimacy...that can lead to problems

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