Is it normal to be in this type of situation?

56% Normal
9 Comments

I'll keep it concise and add more to it on inquiry.

My dad left me at age 3; I'm not too fond of him but we speak on occasion. I also knew a self-proclaimed jerk in high school years ago who succeeded in everything I didn't so for the past 7 years I became jealous, obsessed with him and I near-worshipped him.

Yesterday, it was shocking and a bit painful, but I discovered for the past 7 years, I was worshipping a young version of my father. It's like eating a brownie and realizing the chocolate is actually poop.

Both were cheating womanizers who didn't treat women well but sure had their score. Both are total nerds, despite being jocks as well. Both were arrogant, insecure, self-centered and mainly talk of themselves. Both admit they're not great people. Both have extensive experience in martial arts and brag about it, as well as their other accomplishments.

But, as a whole, my dad wasn't ever nearly as responsible or socially charismatic as the kid in my school was.

The way I see it. My dad is the failed application of his dreams. The other guy is a "successful" application. And I'm the non-application. Perhaps I admired this kid for so long because he is a vindication of what my father wanted to be; the father I wanted.

But in the end, I'm so disgusted at the connection THAT WAS HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT FOR SO LONG, I don't want to be like either.

Is going through something like this normal!?!?!

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 32 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    It sounds like you're subconsciously trying to replace your father with an idealized version of him.

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    • drakkmord
      10 years ago

      that's exactly what I'm saying

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        As yeah! *paws up*

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        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          **Blows load**

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    All I've got to say about your post is that your Dad did not leave you when you were 3; he left your Mom. You had absolutely nothing to do with it and you are foolish to think in this manner.
    He may or may not be a jerk, but it has nothing to do with you.
    Get over it or your whole life is going to be screwed up.

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    • drakkmord
      10 years ago

      well, no. when you decide to have a child, you are obligated to care for that child. it's a fact of life.

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      • thegypsysailor
        10 years ago

        Sometimes, and I'm not saying so in this case, the man does not make the decision to have the child.
        When a parent leaves, it usually has little or nothing to do with the child; the adults are the cause and it is their choice.
        When a child blames themselves, it is foolish (like there was ANYTHING the child could have done to prevent it) and self defeating.
        There is no reason for the child of a broken home to shoulder the responsibility of a failed marriage.

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  • Johnnytherat
    10 years ago

    "daddy wasn't there" by austin powers

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    • drakkmord
      10 years ago

      you should be a comedian

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