Is it normal to be in love with your first love after 9 years?

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6 Comments

This is my story. I've Been in love with the same guy since I was in High School and we broke up 9 years ago. I don't know if its normal to be in love with someone for that long whithout being with him. And above all, he is getting married and It's making me miserable and I Don't know what to do. I don't wanna be in love with him anymore but i don't know how to do it. I wanna be happy and I want to fall in love again. HELP!!!

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Based on 45 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Simone
    12 years ago

    Thanks for the advice. I really appreciated but the fact is that, he doesn't feel for me the way i feel about him. WE haven't talked or seen each other in over a year and half and the thing is the closer is the date of the wedding...the hardest it is for me. And my mind knows that i have to forget him but, who's gonna tell it to my heart? And i can go and talk to him but that's not gonna change anything because the truth is that in this story, I'm the only one who's stuck in the past and in love with him. I guess it is because when i was with him, it was the happiest i've ever been. And there's nothing I can do to get him back because he doesn't love me back. I'm getting used to the idea that not everybody is meant to be happy or meant to be with the person they love. That's life.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Been there!

    Try to be realistic about what your life would be like.... do you like his folks? Does he drink too much? Is he mean with money? Is he out all the time? Doe he watch too much TV?

    Try to pick some bad things about him and exaggerate them, to convince yourself that you wouldn't be happy with him!!

    One day (hopefully soon) you will just get tired of feeling this way and will move on. Unfortunately, we can't tell our hearts what to do - but our brains can work slowly on our feelings to reduce them.

    Good luck to you finding a nice new man.

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  • gloomydust
    12 years ago

    Get him before it's too late.

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  • ygrowup
    12 years ago

    What I wonder most is, does he know? If not, he should! Do not waste any time, or move on to replace him!

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    • Simone
      12 years ago

      Jajajaja I tried to replace...didn't work. All I did was compare him with my ex.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago

    Whoa... thats really sad. Well, you could always tell him how you feel, but think about how that could jeopardize his current relationship. But you did already say that you want to be over him. You don't wanna love him the way you do anymore. You're clearly tired of it. Maybe it's time for a vacation.

    Spend sometime away from him. Meet new people. Put it in the past. Completely. Sure, it's hard, but just think of it as, "it just wasn't meant to be". Yeah, I bet you've heard that often. You're not the only one, but it's true. And I've found that the more you continue to tell yourself that it's over, and wasn't meant to be..., you will start to see things much more clearly.

    You guys have good memories together. Keep it at that. Something prevented you guys from moving forward. So understand that there's probably a good reason why you guys aren't together right now. There's a reason why you're at where you're at. And if you can't see the reason right now, you will in time. Especially if you learn to let him go.

    You're brain is sick of it. Your heart hasn't gotten the memo yet. But if you continue telling yourself to let go, move on, and that whats in the past is in the past, you're heart will soon follow in the brains steps to letting go.

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