Is it normal to be in love with ur 1st cousin?

We've always been close. We had "sex" or more like, "experimented" when I was 7 and he was 12. I loved him the best so I never said anything. When I started growing up I started noticing his good looks and traits and fall in love, then forget him. A vicious cycle.

I know it's very self-centered to say this but I think all of his relationships fail because he's attracted to me. Or frustrated from "that time". And to be honest, I really wanna have sex with him. I always go back to him, and I'm tired of pretending it didnt happen. But he's my first cousin..

I'm pretty sure he does like me too. I mean, he slept on the same bed with me just a few days ago. He's always making up excuses to rub against me.