Is it normal to be in love ... but not lesbian?

73% Normal
8 Comments

I'm best friends with a woman that I've known since I was a little girl. We never genuinely argue, and while we're not exactly identical on every level, we work very well together.

I think I'm in love with her - except.. not sexually. I know for a fact I'm both sexually and emotionally attracted to men, but I have these strange feelings about her that I'm almost certain are love-related.

The thing is, I don't want a relationship and I don't want to tell her about what I'm feeling. I want what we have now - a strong friendship - and I'm in love with her for the same reasons I'm her friend. I have no incliniation or wish to make it anything else, because I'm pretty sure I'm straight.

Is that normal?

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 67 votes (49 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • AutumnSoulwise
    12 years ago

    You LOVE your best friend, and this is what it feels like. You aren't "in-love", you just Love her... Nothing wrong with this at all. Isn't it great to be able to experience love with different people. The love we have for our parents, or siblings is different than those of friends and even pets. That is why no one can ever tell another person if they are in love. That person, and that person only, knows if they are in love, because they own the feelings. They belong to them. Don't you wish you could explain this to everyone, and have them experience it for themselves? Love is the best thing to have and to give.

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  • Rainynights67
    12 years ago

    Dang these are all good replies but i totally agree with AutumnSoulwise, you love her but not "in" love with her, completely normal :)

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  • fullmetaljo
    13 years ago

    you could be associating the closeness you two share to something sisters would share. it doesn't necessarily make you a lesbian for loving another woman who you are close to.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Same thing here

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  • miley-fan
    14 years ago

    i am in love with a girl.. and i am not lesbian lol :)

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  • 100andrew
    14 years ago

    You can love someone without it being sexual.
    Society has created an image that love is sex, but it's not.
    You can love your best friend, just dont go off dating her or anything.
    It's not weird.

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  • coloredpencils
    14 years ago

    Ya that is completely normal. You can love someone of the same or opposite sex without being physically attracted to them. It is like loving a sister or step sister. The love is genuine but there are no physical feelings. I happen to actually be a lesbian but my best friend (who is a girl) is straight as a board! We both tell each other we love each other all the time and neither of us has any inclination or feeling to shag the other. You're normal I'm glad you found that awesome best friend you can love :)

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    • fallingrain
      14 years ago

      Colored - thank you very much for the reply. :) I'm very glad to get input from someone clearly knowledgeable about the topic.

      I'm happy I found her too. :]

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