Is it normal to be in a "forbidden"/hidden relationship?

32 Comments

I'm 20 years old, and every relationship I have been in has been hidden from family; at present it is due mostly to religious differences. I know I could tell them and move out but it would create a world of chaos in my family. Luckily, I'm moving out for grad school next year.

I'm wondering though, IIN? Have you all been in hidden relationships? If so, please specify why (e.g. due to age differences, religious differences, long distance, sexual orientation etc.)

Thanks

Yes	48
No	17
I've never been in a relationship	24

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Comments ( 32 )

TheGuruOfTheSauce

11 years ago

I've always been the guy that was "just a friend" in every relationship with every girl I've been with even though we would have sex and do dating like things. I've been told I'm not boyfriend material but great in bed so no PDA and love for me lmfao

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mikethebike

11 years ago

I hid a relationship from my wife as the woman I was seeing was great at oral and swallowed (my wife thinks it a bit kinky and spat it out the only time I managed to come in her mouth) I loved to 69 with her and my wife has never found out about it - but my lover moved away and now I really miss the times we had!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Not to be rude, but then why get married? I've never really understood cheating, that's all. I'm just wondering why you'd choose to get married and settle down, if you're not willing to be committed to your partner.
  
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  - GoraIntoDesiGals
    
    11 years ago
    
    As he said, she isn't that good in bed and that's something you only discover after a while
    
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    - plum6
      
      11 years ago
      
      Cheating is obviously morally wrong, but I do get your point. At one point my ex was unable to have sex due to a medical issue, and after a while I just could not resist the urge to have sex with someone else anymore. At that point it is just a physical need and doesn't even have to affect the way you feel about your partner.
      
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kelili

11 years ago

With a married man who was forty-eight and I was twenty two. It was a big error because the relationship caused him and his family so much suffering. I would never repeat the same mistake.

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- Terence_the_viking
  
  11 years ago
  
  Did you know he was married? When you got together with him.
  
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  - kelili
    
    11 years ago
    
    Yes. I knew everything there was to know about him. I was in a period where I was depressed and I just needed somebody. I didn't knew that it would go that far. I was not in my country and I thought that once I returned home it would end without nobody being hurt but we fell in love. It's more complicated than that.
    
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    - Terence_the_viking
      
      11 years ago
      
      You learnt from your mistake. Sometimes we can't help how we feel for someone and the past is the past as long as you are ok with it that is all that counts.
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Thank you for sharing.
  
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PRETTYPINKPONY

11 years ago

yes, and i still am. been with him for nearly a year, and will have to keep it a secret until i'm older to bring it into the open :P

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  That's my exact situation only that I'm old enough. I'm just waiting until I move out.
  
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pambambam

11 years ago

yes,and he was married XD

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Djtia

11 years ago

For a short amount of time, when I was 14, I hid my relationship with a 19 year old from my parents. I never slept with him. At the time I was sooo in love, we told my parents- of course they were very concerned. One day, after we had been together for 6 months, I decided I didn't want to be with him anymore. I guess that's a 14 year old for you! At 30, I look back now and cringe. What did a 19 year old want with a kid?
Then when I was in my 20's, I dated a guy at work. We kept that a secret from my workplace, until he found another job. Then, the secrets I kept from everyone was the extent of how awful he was to me, until I finally had the courage to leave.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I was 14 when I dated a 20 year old. I'm 20 now and am creeped out. Then again, I think he was very immature for a 20 year old, so it makes sense.
  
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Steve92

11 years ago

My sister and I both kept our relations secretes from mom and dad, and only shared them with each other. Its ok to share relations with siblings and cousins, you can pick some good advises from them and give good advises to them!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  My closest sibling is 8 years old, so that wouldn't quite work in my case. I have 28 and 30 year old sisters and they wouldn't be so great at keeping it to themselves either; they'd try to parent me or something, especially the former one who got knocked up at 24.
  
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Crystalline

11 years ago

I kept a relationship a secret from my family when I was 16. The guy I was dating was 21 at the time. We eventually told my family but only because he didn't like hiding it from them.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  The worst relationship I've had was with a 20 year old when I was 14. Yeah, I know, it was bad. I met him online though, which was worse. Luckily I grew, matured, woke up one day and thought "I don't need this." He was a psycho anyway.
  
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VioletTrees

11 years ago

My high school boyfriends were a secret from my parents. So was my high school girlfriend, but she dumped me too fast for that to count for much.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  If I may ask, Why did you keep them a secret?
  
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  - VioletTrees
    
    11 years ago
    
    Well, one wasn't a secret, and that one was better. But I had two relationships with older students that were abusive. I kept them a secret at first because I wasn't supposed to be dating guys that much older than me, and later because of the abuse. My girlfriend was a secret because I hadn't told my parents that I'm bi yet. My parents don't have a problem with it, and I knew they wouldn't, but it was still awkward, I guess. If it had worked out better (I'd had feelings for her for ages, but it only lasted a few days), I would've told them.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Ah, I see. Hopefully you've had better luck since then.
      
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      - VioletTrees
        
        11 years ago
        
        I have, thank you. My husband is lovely.
        
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pappusharma

11 years ago

I kept it hidden because having sexual relationship with a girl before marriage is a sin.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  That is my family's anxiety too. They would hardly believe I've known someone since I was 14 and have been dating him for about 1 1/2 years without having sex with him.
  
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NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

I am currently hiding a marriage from my Dad's side of the family.

He is a Mormon and they hate Mormons, our family was among the original Mormon pioneers and decades later, they just decided that they didn't like people telling them to do crazy shit like not get drunk and beat their children or not sleep with people other than their spouse.

So, when we get sealed in the temple, I will tell them. If they won't accept it then, they never will. Currently they think we are a boyfriend and girlfriend sinfully living together and having all sorts of sinful premarital sex. They're now asking WHEN we'll get married, and they will be relieved when we "do" XD Dats how we roll.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Hiding a marriage? Wow, taking it a step further I see. Good for you though. You should be happy. :)
  
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5687q

11 years ago

In a sense. yes I have been. It was due to the morals of my family.

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BlueJeansWhiteShirt

11 years ago

I have hid a relationship before due to religious differences.
But now I have stopped caring. I will be with who I want to be with, no one should tell me otherwise. In the end, my family are happy if I am happy. That's all they truly care about.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  What was the religious difference? Just curious. I'm glad that worked out for you.
  
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  - BlueJeansWhiteShirt
    
    11 years ago
    
    My family were Catholic and I dated someone Jewish, due to I was converting to Judaism at one point, long story.
    The thing is, my family are no longer religious at all and more open minded so it doesn't matter as much to them anymore.
    
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to be in a "forbidden"/hidden relationship?