Is it normal to be happy that my sister died, because now i'm free?

When I was four, my sister was born with Cerebral Palsy. Almost immediately, both of my parents had to step out of my life to use all of their time and energy to care for her (partly because there weren't very many services in our area, my Dad made too much money and they might have been unaware of what was available altogether. Also, for moral reasons as well).

My Mom stayed at home and cared for her and my Dad helped when he wasn't at work. Even though we had health insurance, the bills for everything it didn't cover added up, and my Mom was forced to take a night job so she could help pay the bills and continue caring for my sister during the day. The stress of this, along with her own health problems (her Type 1 Diabetes) caused her to snap. Someone found her in a parking lot, overdosed on pills, she had tried to kill herself and was almost successful.

After she got out of the hospital, she just left. We don't know where she went, or how she maintained her diabetes without using her health insurance, because even though we filed missing person's reports, she could not be located for two years. At that time, I was 10, and after speaking with my Grandmother about the strain this was causing my Dad, to have to hire nurses and pay more bills to care for her, we convinced him to let me independently study, pull me out of school and classify me as being homeschooled, so I could care for my sister.

Eventually my Mom came back after living on various streets, shelters and friends. She would not return to our house though, the doctor that treated her in the hospital said she suffered from a psychotic break and she no longer acted like our Mother. She is around, but not here.

I am now 20, and have been going to college online. My entire LIFE has revolved around my sister, who can barely speak or do for herself, for the past 10 years. She had a stroke a few weeks ago, and I did all I could but I could not save her. She was resuscitated, but she was pronounced brain dead afterwards and had to be taken off life support.

I want to be sad, because that is my sister, but looking at all of the damage her condition has done to our family... I feel guilty for the first thoughts after her death being all of the things that I can do now, I can go to college, go wherever I want, have a girlfriend, have friends and a social life now that she's gone. My life is no longer about her, I can live for myself! How wrong is it for me to feel this way?

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 180 votes (133 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • it's_all_too_much

    The situation is understandable. The things that happened have been a weight on your life holding you back from doing things for yourself. It is hard to lose a loved one but there is nothing wrong with moving on with your life after the fact. Take care of yourself now!

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  • Wh0Ar3YoU

    Thats a happy ending. 1 less person taking up space in this world

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  • zackattack

    I completely understand. This was a situation that was thrust upon you. You were a great brother, and a great son to sacrifice your entire life to help your family. I'm guessing you're sister had a really hard time and was probably willing to pass away. I'm sure she wants you to have a fun life for all that you did for her. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better brother. Best of luck man.

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  • jondoerandom

    it's normal, you've done a great service to your sister and went through some hardcore shit.. Start your own life now, you are free.

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  • SoNotNormalGirl

    It's ok. You did the right thing to take care of her and your family when she was here and now you can be at peace and so can she. I say live your life now. If you don't all the suffering was in vain.

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  • missy18

    Don't feel guilty, because that is almost worse than a lingering sadness and will hold you back. It's time for you to move on.

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  • mariluz

    You are relieved, hon. The pain has come to an end, for your family and for your unfortunate sister.

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  • Cheese123

    Therapy. Please get it. I truly believe you could get some help inresolving this inner crisis of yours. I don't think it's healthy to carry this burden with you. Find some shrink to help bear it for a while.

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  • PapzBSlim

    The title made me pass read the book by its cover. After reading your post, I understand you have all rights to your feelings. A person's emotional feelings can never be wrong or held against them. Your post did point out great reasons as to why you feel this way.

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  • YumInsanity

    What a selfish bitch! You should have suffocated that slut in the cradle before she had the time to become such a bitch.

    Btw I'm stealing your life story to write a heartbreaking book of staggering sadness that's going to make me rich

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    • hate2love

      I don't if your joking but your really being selfish he's already struggling with what to do and what you said was really disrespectful, and really using other peoples life story to make yourself 'rich'. Your an insensitive jerk.

      His sister didn't choose to be here and she really couldn't help being the way she was.

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  • nixon02

    That's quite a life you've had. I'd say that is alright to feel the way you do. You've been battling natural selection for a long time; now that the battle is over you can either choose to wallow in your defeat or celebrate the victory of freedom and honor her that way.

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  • Justsomejerk

    RIP little sis. Totally nOrmal OP, I was relieved when my mum died. Time to catch up with your life.

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  • I_MOLEST_KIDS

    wow i say normal and not normal

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