Is it normal to be happy about a miscarriage?

73% Normal
9 Comments

To start with, I am 24 and my boyfriend is 28. We have been living together for 2 years, are college educated and make pretty good money. I've been on birth control for years because I don't want kids and he agreed that he didn't want any either.

Then I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant and I was distraught. I arranged to get an abortion and told him what was going on. He proposed on the spot and objected to abortion, he was actually HAPPY about my pregnancy and bought me a beautiful engagement ring the next day. He made arrangements to store his exercise equipment to make a bedroom free for baby and after a few weeks, the thought of being a wife and mother was actually making me look forward to having the baby and wedding.

Just shy of three months, I caught ill and miscarried. It was horrible and painful but when it was all over I felt fine. I'm actually feeling happy about my having a miscarriage. Many of my friends felt grief even over unplanned pregnancies but honestly I am relieved. My boyfriend who still wants to be married said that we can try for another one if I want but I don't want to.

Is it normal to actually be happy about having a miscarriage?

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 143 votes (105 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • KeddersPrincess
    11 years ago

    Yeah, it's normal since you didn't want to have a child to begin with. This story was kind of sad though because your boyfriend was so excited. But if you aren't ready for kids, I wouldn't try for another.

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  • LeSigh
    11 years ago

    I think there is a biological imperative to feel excited about procreating, but if your own goals are telling you not to have kids, feeling both pleased by the pregnancy and relieved by the miscarriage can be confusing as all hell.

    I've always wanted to be a wife and mother - I have other goals as well, but none that would eclipse my whitebread, suburban mom instincts enough to make me decide against children forever. Still, when I had to have an abortion a few years ago, I will admit that I was simultaneously heartbroken and relieved: I was not ready for children, particularly financially. I also found out *after* my boyfriend and I had broken up, and I was not about to ask him back into my life to support a baby - honestly I had broken up with him for reasons that related to him being completely unreliable and a little too prone to violence. Not exactly a person a child should grow up with.

    To summarize, we all have our reasons for choosing to have or not to have children. At least now, though, you'll have some perspective if you ever decide to try again. You may not be ready now, but if you ever get curious, you'll have this experience to look back on. Best of luck. :)

    /hugs to you both

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    It is normal to some, not too others. If you were not ready for a child then it is okay for you to have a miscarriage!

    I was the father of a miscarried child, and it is one of the worst feelings of my life. The baby was very far along, and as such, my fiance at the time had to give birth to a still born baby. The stress and pain of the whole situation ended up causing so much grief between us that we split.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    11 years ago

    If you felt like you truly weren't ready for a baby, then yes it's normal.

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  • justanothersomeone
    5 years ago

    If you really don't want a baby, then yeah I'd say it's normal. I'm a little surprised your bf was happy about the pregnancy though, since he didn't want kids either.

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  • Naughtygirl147
    8 years ago

    I'm gonna say no.You should be sad.That baby was your own making and you are happy about it dying?Thats just...wow

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  • stupidassholeguy
    11 years ago

    Go BF.

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  • Lynxikat
    11 years ago

    I guess, since you never wanted a kid to begin with.

    But I'm more concerned about the future between you and your bf. It sounds like he wants kids, but you obviously don't want any- that can really cause a strain on any relationship.

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  • Serena87
    11 years ago

    Relief

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