Is it normal to be gay and massage your straight best friend?

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35 Comments

hey.. I'm 25 years old and I'm pretty sure I am gay. I have been best friends with my straight guy friend for the past 6 years and he is also 25. we call each other brothers. he is the all American guy, played soccer all his life and every girl thinks he's so hot. I've come to realize within the past year that I think I really 'like' him. I would do anything for this guy. it's been eating me alive because I have not come out to anyone and everyone thinks I'm straight.

but here's the thing.. whenever we get drunk, I always sleep at his house, in his room. we start off both on his bed, me sitting by his feet and I always end up , massaging his feet.. the his legs.. and sometimes up to his thighs. I'll ask in hone middle of, massaging, "does it feel good?" and he would reply, "yeah" softly because he's about to knock out. the next morning it's always as if nothing happened. this has occurred about 7 times. and then last weekend we went camping along with his other brother. his other didn't want to sleep in the tent so the tent was left to me and my best friend. we had been drinking and once we were getting for bed and in our sleeping bags, he said, "how do you want me? massage my back ya?" and of course I did. I put my hands under his sweater so I could massage his skin and there were points where I would massage his pelvic area and I could feel his pubes... trust me I was scared every time it went near his private area.. and then same thing, next morning, it was as if nothing happened the night before.

it drives me crazy bc I care so much for him and I can't tell anyone about this. someone talk to me please..

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73% Normal
Based on 329 votes (240 yes)
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Comments ( 35 )
  • dinz
    9 years ago

    I was in a similar situation (minus the massage and I was the straight dude) with a good friend of mine.

    One night he was drunk and tried to kiss me, I immediately backed off and said "Dude I don't flow that way".I told him to just sleep it off thinking it was just some drunken behaviour.

    The next morning, I woke up to the of him getting ready to leave the house. I asked him to come back into the house, he broke down and told me he is Gay. I told him I'll accept him for whom he is and to not take my rejection as a sign of the end of our friendship.

    Sorry for the long comment, but the morale of the story. A good friend will accept you for who you are. And he does, kudos to him. But remember if he does reject you, don't assume it is an end to your friendship. Who knows, maybe he has a fancy for you too :)

    To think about it, it was a big thing for him to come out of the closet and to reveal it to me, shows how much he values me as a friend as I value him as a friend.

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    • whos5ryan
      9 years ago

      if only it were that easy to tell my friend. lol I really appreciate your story and acknowledge the fact that there is some light at the end of the tunnel with this situation but is definitely a long road ahead for me. how are you guys now? has he tried making a move on you since?

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      • dinz
        9 years ago

        He has remained a very close friend of mine. That incident was a one off thing though he did later admitted that there were times where he wanted to touch/kiss me but was scared of the negative effect it could have on our friendship.

        He is now happily married with his partner of almost two years and often he tells his partner how I was his first crush LOL.

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  • Mat4Mat
    9 years ago

    First you will have "the talk" and then you take it from there.
    My best friend from childhood was very affectionate with me all the time, and he is 300% straight!
    We starting sleeping together frequently after the age of 10. He love to cuddle with me, and he always played with my hair and so. I remember seating normally while watching TV and He always liked holding me against his chest and playing with my nipples. My parents and his thought for years that we were a couple; his father even died thinking his son was gay. It wasn't till I actually found a boyfriend (at 21) when the truth came out. Yes my bf was very jealous of him at the beginning, but so was my friend!.... mostly because the openness of the male affection we had, had to be controlled, and at that time touching my nipples will get me hard like a rock! Later in life, and few bf's and wife of his own, we have reconnected and we do treat each other like the old times. His wife thinks is cute, specially the French kisses (girls like that),...She even tricked us into taking a shower (him & me) together because we were late for something,...except she said I kill her fantasy when He got on the shower with me, and I said... "dude!, ..you're uncut??!!..... and He said, ...and you are huge!!!,... or are you getting hard?....."I'm not getting hard and not dropping the soap either!!!.... She laugh so hard!!....We heard her behind the door!
    The thing is, a secure men/women should be able to enjoy displaying affection to his love ones, regardless of their genders, race, preferences, nationality, religion, or any other excuses!!!!

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    • whos5ryan
      9 years ago

      haha well that probably happens to every 1 out of a million guys' friendship lol. but that is awesome though. I just really don't know what to do and I think it just makes me sad knowing that I can't be with him. that is why when he asks me to go out to the bars with our friends, I'm always down to go because it is a possibility that I will be able to massage him later in the evening.

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      • mlbryan44
        9 years ago

        Do you want to suck his cock? If so do it after you calm him down with a massage and then do his front, chest, arms and legs, then his balls and cock. Then suck the poor guy off and bend over because maybe he will want to fuck your ass. If none of this works out contact me and we will get together and really go at it.!!!

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        • whos5ryan
          9 years ago

          of course I want to suck his dick. when we went camping I was actually massaging his arms too and I would move down to his hand and interlock, hold hands with him and he didn't do anything, (because he was "sleeping"). ha it's frustrating. I want more from him

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          • mlbryan44
            9 years ago

            You can always suck me off. I am likely better looking too!

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        • SENIORIST
          9 years ago

          Just Clean and Shave your ass, go and after massage him pretend as If you want to sleep and go to bed with no panty and and after he sleeps put your ass and move towards to his cock and sleep like this when he notices there is a nice ass infront of his cock he will move at least he will play with your ass this should be enough for you !!1

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          • whos5ryan
            9 years ago

            see the thing is after I massage him, I sleep on the floor. I never stay on the bed bc it's a twin bed and it's too small. It's too close for comfort and I know he would feel uncomfortable. trust me, I wish he would play with my ass, or just touch me anywhere for that matter

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Ya'll need to have a conversation.

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  • KennyD69
    7 years ago

    OK .. When you are massaging his upper legs / thighs OR when you are doing his abdomen with his pubes ... just let your hand go a little bit lower or higher until your hand is on his penis ...

    It will more than likely be erect ... so hold it for a second , then ask him outright ... "Should I stop or continue with this Big Boy .. "
    That will set the stage to know just how far he wants things to go .. Don't suggest anything else .. IF you came that far ; now let him make the next move and see what happens / he suggest ...

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  • idkwtsay
    7 years ago

    I know this may be an old post and things may have changed since then.
    But let me share with you an exp:
    I had almost the same issue, a very close friend who would let me massage him and who would even massage me (he didn't always ask to be massaged, sometimes I used to offer and even insist)
    We were sober all the times, and I noticed after a while that he is getting hard.
    He used to stay quiet and sometimes even act as if he was sleeping. I upped it up a notch just out of curiosity until one day he got so bothered that it almost ruined our friendship.
    We stopped the massage issue for a long while and got back to it recently.
    He would massage my back and I would do the same. He very rarely asks for it because he doesn't want to be the one who initiates it but when I offer him a massage he gladly accepts.
    He still has a boner on many occasions but I just don't go there anymore.
    I gained our friendship back and I am not willing to lose it.
    In case he would like to take things further then it's his call and i'll just wait.

    I know it might sound different but trust me it began the same way as yours. but i'm not saying that the outcome might be the same.
    you have one of two options:
    1- Come out to him when you are all dressed up, not in a bedroom and the time feels right and see what he says.(this is the lowest risk option)
    2- Try to touch his pubes, apologize if he's not exited and see his reaction or just joke about him having a boner and also see his reaction
    It depends how much it's burning you on the inside and how much risk you want to take.
    Just don't stay in that grey area for too long. for both of you and for your friendship

    Best of luck

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  • mlbryan44
    9 years ago

    This story made me so horny I massaged my roommate and jerked and sucked him off to completion. thanks for the incentive.

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    In regards to the other friends coming, again, he probably isn't comfortable with his sexuality. Then again, how many people want to experience the awkwardness of letting people know that they experienced a moment together? How would it have made you feel if he wanted to converse with you about this, a private and very personal experience, in front of the others? Keep in mind that I am not trying to make you feel insecure about the whole situation. It's just that with myself, I am a very private person. I don't enjoy entertaining the idea of most people knowing about my sexuality (etc.).

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    • whos5ryan
      9 years ago

      that would be awesome if he did have the same mutual feelings. as of right now.. turning that massage into a cuddle might be a bit too much .. I think massaging him sober was a huge step already, ya know?

      And by the way, I definitely appreciate your thoughts and advice !

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      • Avant-Garde
        9 years ago

        I see… Well, if you could get away with massaging his leg then, perhaps, you could see if you could still get away with it if you moved it in another direction. Try gradually massaging his penis? You don't have to hop straight to it. Just make the transition as gradual as possible. Alternatively, you could employ the classic tactic of asking him if there's anyone that he likes.

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        • whos5ryan
          9 years ago

          I've actually tried massaging his dick before.. this one time we were in his bed I was massaging his legs and would go up his inner thigh.. the closest I got was to touch a bit of his balls.. I got too scared to continue.. lol. and then this one time we went camping, I started to massage his pelvic area and felt his pubes, it was so nerve wracking that I stopped massaging his pelvic area and just continued to massage his back and abs..

          and we always talk about girls. there's this girl on our soccer team that he likes soo yeah.. idk

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Good luck!

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    In reply to your most recent comment:

    Wow. Um... Maybe, he likes you back but is typically very reserved about displaying affection. It could be that he isn't comfortable with his sexuality. This is difficult... He most be open to it of he is allowing you to massage him whilst sober, without having any objections. Try turning the massage into a cuddle? Ease into it and see how he reacts?

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  • whos5ryan
    9 years ago

    so today on our way to watch the NHL playoffs, at my best friend's house, HE was driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat (just a note: we were both sober) and I started to massage his back as he was driving and it lasted about 20 minutes until we got to his house. we parked and so I stopped massaging him, obviously, and we got out of the car and spoke nothing of it and started watching the hockey game.

    when the rest of our friends got their, we talked about the game and manly shit.

    I mean... what the fuck?! idk what to think

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  • RazzSoH
    9 years ago

    Dear Concerned,

    It seems to me that you might actually have a shot with him. If he would let you do all these different things to him, maybe you should confess your feelings for him. Chances are he probably likes you back, but is to embarrassed to say it aloud. You two seem pretty close, and in this state, now is the perfect time to say something, or at least wait until he is single (if he is dating someone).

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    • whos5ryan
      9 years ago

      I would confess my feelings if it was a sure bet that I wouldn't scare him away nor lose him as my best friend, or friend for that matter.

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      • Rueben78
        5 years ago

        Take the risk - or loose the chance.

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  • randypete
    9 years ago

    do you give him a happy end

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    • Diver2
      9 years ago

      How about giving me one!

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  • sour.sweet.gone
    9 years ago

    Maybe hes too drunk to realize whats up and when he wakes up he doesn't remember, I'd ask him

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    • whos5ryan
      9 years ago

      that'd be the last thing I would want to do. I'm pretty sure he knows I like touching his feet when we are drunk though. when we went camping, it was really cold and he and I were in the tent and he had no socks on and he said, "damn my feet are cold." and right when I heard that, "I took both my hands and started rubbing his feet to get them warm, he didn't seem to mind.. 5 minutes after is when we layed down to sleep and I started to massage his back"

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      • Zoraya
        9 years ago

        I'm just going to tell you like this.. That's some gay ass shit. I had a friend when I was younger and we used to something similar when I'd sleep over her house but at the time I didn't see it as gay. Just like you said you came to the realization that your gay, at first it didn't occur to you, then thought crossed your mind. Maybe he's gay and hasn't come to that realization yet because what you both are doing is very intimate. I don't see a straight guy being ok with that even with a close friend. I think thats normal to do something like that with someone you have a crush on but if hes not even considering he's gay I don't think you should confront him with this. It could just shock him, cause him to do something extreme and jeopardize your relationship. I can only based this on my experience since I went through something like that too and all I can say is somebody got smacked and a friendship was lost.

        So in short just enjoy it while your looking for someone to be in a real relationship with.

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        • whos5ryan
          9 years ago

          I really appreciate your response. that is exactly why I have never brought the events up to him when we were sober, I didn't want the consequence to be negative and cause a loss of friendship. Its just truly frustrating not knowing what this "thing" we are doing is because it doesn't seem like something a straight dude would let another guy do to him..

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  • GreyWulfen
    9 years ago

    I'm sure he appreciates it.

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    • mlbryan44
      9 years ago

      Why don't you massage my cock and see how I like it!

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    • whos5ryan
      9 years ago

      appreciates the massage? lol I hope so. sometimes I'd massage him for an hour sometimes two hours just because in that brief moment, I feel like it's the only time I get to connect with him physically. even though it is a one way streak.. I feel like it's better than nothing at all, even if it's not sexual. ya know?

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