Is it normal to be fussy when looking for a partner for life?

86% Normal
15 Comments

I am in my early 30s and would love to find someone to settle down with. The problem is, I am very fussy, or at least I think I am. I understand that one needs to compromise, but for some reason I too often see imperfections as deal breaker. For example
If a guy has too many hobbies which take up a LOT of his time and he is unable to spend enough quality time with me
If a guy is not domesticated, doesn't know how to cook and is still living with his parents.
If a guy spends a lot of time on social media, befriending girls and in general shares a lot of his life on social medial. It annoys me and makes me feel like he needs reassurance from others or something

Am I normal? I would like to change and become less fussy but think May need to see a psychologist to help me. Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 36 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • CoraCook
    9 years ago

    It's normal and I agree with the social media activity, if it's like you described. The hobbies, on the other hand, I think are a good thing (obviously not when it keeps the couple from spending time together).

    I hate to tell you this, but the older we get, the pickier we become! If you don't want to remain alone you must compromise on the points that bother you the least and go for it!

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  • charli.m
    9 years ago

    Knowing what you want is a good thing. Not settling for something you know you couldn't live with is smart.

    I think that when you do meet the right person, though, it is entirely possible that you find yourself willing to compromise on something you never thought you would. At least, that's my personal experience. If you told me a few years ago I'd end up with a guy who smokes, I'd have told you to fuck off, there was no way. For me, it's worth accepting. And I never, ever thought I could before.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Thank you.

      I hope I can turn my stubbornness around and be willing to compromise in the future. Was smoking the only deal breaker you had to see past with your guy, or was there more?

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      • charli.m
        9 years ago

        I think it can happen. Unexpectedly. I guess it's really down to the individual relationship. But it can happen.

        Smoking and distance. That's about it. But smoking was a huge thing. I literally gag or stop breathing around smoke. But he's very understanding and considerate, so it's workable. I'd like him to quit in the long run but more for his own sake than mine, and I know it's not easy to do so I can just wait til it's time for him.

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        • CoraCook
          9 years ago

          So he'll just have to smoke outside with the dogs. Can't get any better than that!

          http://www.visualphotos.com/photo/2x2711309/bulldog_smoking_cigar_in_chair_42-16421407.jpg

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          • charli.m
            9 years ago

            Hahahaha that pic :D

            I would never expect someone to change their behaviour for me in their own house.

            ...ok so I just wanna go out and chase those poor dogs around while squealing "You're so cute and squishy!!!!"

            Don't judge me :(

            Also, I love that site name. Visual photos, aa opposed to the shitty auditory type...hehe.

            ....I'll be on my way now.

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            • CoraCook
              9 years ago

              Oh, I have a non-smoking vid too!

              https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=478790375569044

              If it doesn't open, sorry, I couldn't find a non-FB link to it!

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            • CoraCook
              9 years ago

              Hahaha why on Earth would someone thumb this down? I can only think it was a "big thumb mistake" hahahaha

              Smuggle the doggies too! Baby and doggies in my vegemite box, please!

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Deal breakers are important to have.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    9 years ago

    This thread looks like it was struck by a tornado of thumb downs

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    kind eyes , movies , eating , sex, and laughter....keeping it simple might be worth a try

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    You don't need to see a psychologist! Your pickiness is good. Your being picky is understandable. Don't settle down for someone you think is a low product.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Thank you for that. But what if I was to say that apart from these things he was absolutely perfect? :(

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  • TrustMeImLying
    9 years ago

    you don't need to see a psychologist. some of those are dealbreakers for most and others borderline on being a hardass. when was your last relationship if you don't mind me asking?

    as for tops, when it doubt wear purple

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Thank you.

      My last relationship ended less than a week ago. But it only lasted two and a half months.

      Prior to that I was in a long term relationship and that one ended 9 months ago, and it was for the similar reasons... Similar issues which over time I could no longer tolerate and became deal breakers.

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