Is it normal to be friend-zoned this much?

14 Comments

I'll be honest, I'm pushing 30 and I have been on a good number of dates. But, it just never goes anywhere. Every time i get to know a girl, they always say I'm a good guy, caring, loving, strong willed but when I ask them if they want to take the next step it's a total flip flop. I know I'm not the most handsome guy, but I'm fit, take good care of myself, and i don't exactly crack the mirror when i look at it. So, why do women friendzone me?

Hell if I know/Don't Care. 8
You obviously aren't living up to their expectations. 6
The girls you're seeing are idiots. 13
Girls don't want a "Nice Guy" 8
You're just that, way too friendly. 11
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Comments ( 14 )
  • AbnormallyAwesome
    10 years ago

    Are you being yourself or are you maybe trying to hard to be friendly?
    I think, whoever you will have a relationship with should love you for who you truly are, and if they can't do that, then it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
    You don't have to get her to like you - You just want to get to know her.
    I know this is hard and I can't really do it myself but if you want to seem natural and lovable you'll just have to be yourself and not try to be someone else. Don't play a nice guy and don't play a bad boy. Don't play at all, be real.
    If you can do this (and you'll have to teach me how ;) then the woman who'll love you will be the right one.

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    • Lastchild725
      10 years ago

      I am being myself. I suck at making up "Personas." I try to be natural and easy going on dates and receptive to any hints. Most of the time though, nothing. =/

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  • Psoriano
    10 years ago

    40% of your options (2 of them) point to the same misconception about women. In my experience most of them really do want a nice guy, as long as he can prove not to be a total bore (I'll dare say even more: they desperately seek one in secret). There are a couple out there who just want to be mistreated by douches, but they are not as many as one is lead to believe. It might be the case that you've always come across the ones who fit the stereotype, so you may try working on your guides for picking them as a start, but if you ask me, you sound too focused on how nice you are acting when you should be paying attention to other things you might be doing wrong.

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    • ThisIsImpossible
      10 years ago

      I agree that they really do want a nice guy, but they also want exciting or interesting, most females it seems rely on the guy to be the interesting one, with things to do. It just so happens that the assholes and bad boys have a lot of shit going on for the most part. And they've gotten good at pretending to be good guys for a minute or two.

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      • Lastchild725
        10 years ago

        I kid you not, this has been a real conversation.

        "Guys fucking suck, why can't i find a decent guy like you?!"

        "You can, want to go out sometime?"

        "Mmm, no thanks. I wanna keep you as a friend."
        *Facepalm*

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        • ThisIsImpossible
          10 years ago

          That's her way of saying she wouldnt have sex with you if you paid her.

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    • Lastchild725
      10 years ago

      I don't dwell on acting nice, I just try to keep myself open and approachable. I ask open ended questions that usually start conversations and keep things relaxed. Once i know a little about them, i ask them out. But the answer is almost always no.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    I can't say why. I can say that I truly believe most girls value niceness and friendliness in partners, so long as that's not the extent of your personality. It also helps a lot to be funny and interesting. Work on how you present yourself, not in terms of your appearance but the way you talk and the things you say to make yourself more interesting company.

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  • linchpin
    10 years ago

    hole in the go-zone layer

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    I don't want to bad mouth the girls you're seeing, and you sound like someone who's trying so I don't want to say anything bad about you either. Honestly all I can say is to just keep on trying. Getting friend-zoned can suck if you like the person, but don't hold it against them if they don't like you. You probably are a genuinely nice person, but maybe you just weren't these girls type. That's not to say that they want a bad boy, just someone else. Keep trying man and you'll probably find someone. Try not to lose hope and turn into a cynic, like I said you probably are a cool person and somebody will see that eventually.

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  • Mersaphe
    10 years ago

    Friend zoned is better than being ignore zoned.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Ok, I am just going to suggest this. When on your next date, don't act the way you usually do, infact, act the opposite. Don't act like the friendly person you tend to be, as that surely isn't working.

    I say this because I have heard guys say that they have changed their attitude completely like this, regardless of how reluctant they were to doing it, and it made them successful in finding a partner. Kind of sad, but meh. According to some people it works more than the good guy routine.

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    • Anime7
      10 years ago

      You have to admit though, what's the point of even going on the date then if you can't be yourself? You're essentially getting someone to like a persona and not the real you. If she does actually like the persona then you're going to have to pretty much keep it up until the relationship ends. I don't think that's a good way to go to be honest, maybe to get a one night stand sure, but not an actual relationship.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Yep.

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