Is it normal to be feel so affected by this?

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8 Comments

My girlfriend's last boyfriend is a complete asshole for the way he ruined the relationship with her, I don't need to explain it, just he more/less cheated on her, but he's a moron.

Anyway, I know this is not her fault obviously and she knows this bothers me a lot, but I just detest the fact and imaginations I have of that fool snogging her so many times in their 3-month relationship before me. Whenever I see her lips I often think of her boyfriend snogging her with tongue. And I hate it, firstly because I wasn't the first and secondly because he was a big asshole.

We love each other beyond words and it's the main reason that it affects me. Her past is so delicate to me... Too delicate to me...

I think I just need someone to tell me how stupid and pathetic I'm being for overreacting to such a minor disappointment, especially compared to what other people may be forced to deal with in regard to lovers' pasts.

Is it normal to be so affected and annoyed about this? Please comment if you have any stories or experience with this. Also comment if you fell any empathy, respect, or sheer shamefulness upon me for being a pussy.

Thank you.

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 28 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Nephew7
    10 years ago

    Watkins?

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  • OhStevieRaeee
    10 years ago

    Dj?

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  • Killah_B
    10 years ago

    It is normal to feel this way occasionally but you are letting it control your life. The past is the past and I understand it is hard to accept but there is no other way. If you do not accept it, you are only running from it. She is with YOU now and I think you need to realize that. Do not let those horrendous thoughts control your life and ruin your relationship with the girl you love.

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  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    You may be overreacting, but I know that I would do the same. But I think this is something that you will get over with time, this is normal.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Yeah she's with you now isn't that all that really matters.

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  • Elyod88
    10 years ago

    You're definitely overreacting! People are always going to have a history before you, you can't change that.

    The fact of the matter is that she is with you :)

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  • ProseAthlete
    10 years ago

    I'll be that person to smack you a little and tell you that you're overreacting, but I'll do it with kindness. :)

    You can't change someone else's past, and everyone you meet is going to have one. Hers was painful to her, so instead of staying with that asshole, she's chosen to be with someone who treats her well. Why on earth would you want to mess that up for yourself by dwelling on the fact that someone kissed her first?

    "First," by the way, is meaningless because every relationship is different. Her first kiss with you is the only one that matters to her, I promise you. If you're so hung up on firsts, be the first one to take her ice skating, feed her sushi, surprise her at work with a picnic lunch. Be the first to treat her with dignity. She'll remember you fondly when she's 90 for that particular first.

    For pity's sake, stop looking at her mouth and seeing someone else's there. It's creeptastic. That's like looking at her butt and thinking about when she wore diapers as an infant -- it's In. The. Past. Obsessing over it is as outdated and Victorian as worrying about whether she ever held hands with a childhood sweetheart and is therefore no longer "pure."

    Get over that. It's gross.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Had a girlfriend, got extra sex on the side.

    He doesn't sound that moronic.

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