Is it normal to be detached in this way?

61% Normal
5 Comments

I'm 20 years old, my entire life I've never had a real romantic relationship with anyone, other than 1 guy, but it lasted only a couple weeks.
I tend to distance myself from not only romantic relationships but friendships as well.which is weird, i can't help it, because at the same time I yearn for real relationships.

I think it has a lot to do with being abused through out my childhood, mentally,physically and sexually.

I used to consider myself [closet]bisexual because i am attracted sexually and romantically to both genders. although i find that when i am attracted to people i'm more attracted to the idea of them, not so much when i'm with them..

i've have sexual encounters with both genders but i never feel 'involved'
emotionally. it's like i totally detach myself from the situation.

is this normal? is there anyone else like this? I feel like some kind of weird contradiction.

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 76 votes (46 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • ruralfrights
    14 years ago

    Considering the level of abuse you described, you have probably HAD to shut down emotionally to survive. It's sad, it can be healed, yet I don't know exactly how.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • xpollysaurasrexx
    14 years ago

    I used to become attatched to people and something about it would scare me and id distance myself and it just turned bad. It was a phase but i'm still not sure if its normal... I guess so :]

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • gabface19
    14 years ago

    Try sexual therapy, no joke. There are victims of abuse and people who have been raised in certain prude environments, and there is help for those people!

    Don't go feeling embarrassed or anything, imagine how much you can do when you put your mind to it.

    You can sort out your orientation preference (male, female or some from each side) and feel more confident about your position (not sexual at all, looking for a real relationship etc)

    Good luck!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • nobody.
    14 years ago

    I feel the same way but I didn't get abused or anything, I'm perfectly happy with my life. OK, maybe I'm not bisexual, only curious but still.... We should both get some help.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • pickettsgirl
    14 years ago

    considering what you decribe as your background, i think it is normal for you to feel that way. you actually are in the same situation as a friend of mine.

    what you really need to change the way you feel about romance and sex is to see a sex therapist. they help people to work through issues that prevent them from getting "involved" in and enjoying sex. hope this helps.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0