Is it normal to be depressed to face the lies/cheating from 1st love?

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Hello, I am 26 years old and I think I am in a situation where I have lost completely.
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I met her 5 years ago, proposed her 4 years ago once I became too much zealous to see her with a boy who was her just friend. She rejected then. . .Time passed away, we maintained friendship, till now everyday I sent her text message every morning because I dream her face every morning. She always told me Im her best friend but she never told me to stop loving her. She always told me she is unable to love anyone so I should back off and forget her.
After completing my graduation I wanted to marry her but she told that she will never marry. Moreover, she will hate her husband more than anyone on planet earth. She always said, she will never love anyone and she told all of these with extreme confidence. I always believed her, so believed all of she said.
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Just 1 week ago she got married, yes she married and she is in deep love with her husband. When I called her, she only spoke about her husband. She has accepted her marriage whole heartedly and she just did exactly opposite she told me for last 4 years. I never hit upon any other girl in 4 years. I loved her only. Yes, I am a boy who'll be last spotted on a crowd for his simplicity but my love wasn't as simple as me. I have travelled in Europe, Asia and everywhere I feel her, I feel I love her. I proposed her from top of the Eiffel Tower but she rejected silently that time. The day I proposed her to till now, I love her equally. Even though she is married now.
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The night she got married, I was dead inside. I was awake whole night because whenever I slept I saw dream of her, when I was awake her memory came to me. I am terribly broken inside because:

****My depression reasons****

1) Why her life is full of success whereas my life face success and failure? Why did she never fail in anything? Why god chosen a broken boy like me to fall in love with a successful girl like her?
2) Why did she began to love his husband? Why did she lied to me?
3) It took her only 3 night to start loving a boy whereas she always hated boys till the day before her marriage? Just because of physical relation or sex? What's in a dick that defeats mind/choice via pussy?
4) Why she never fails in anything and prove she is human? Her husband is less man more servant to her, she has found a great admirer good man as her husband.
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I want to live ppl. Please help me. Her deeds makes me feeling pity for myself and this feelings tells me to finish everything. I feel an ugly laughter inside me which teases me because of stupid love. It teases me and this feelings is terrible. I don't wanna die. I thought I am the only one who is unable to get rid of true love of their life but here I saw a lot of boys+girls feel this way. Please help me.

I work in an IT company and I never let anyone down. I will never ever let anyone down for me but I can't handle the teases come from my mind which teases me for loosing her by believing her bullshit lies. Is it normal?

For the first time in my life I have started taking anti-depression drugs. My best friend (who is a doctor) knows everything and he prescribed this after examining me. What is in my fate? Am i going to be ok?

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Comments ( 4 )
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    You speak of her vow to never get married - from FIVE YEARS ago.

    You have no right to hold her to that vow. Yes it hurts your feelings and your ego to know that another man changed her mind on it, why wasn't it you?

    Why? Because sometimes just because you want someone doesn't mean they're the one for you.

    I had a strong crush on one guy from my church... had that crush for years. I use to think, I'd never have met him and been friends with him if it wasn't meant to be but... he just wasn't interested.

    Then I met my boyfriend. And I learned who I was REALLY meant to be with. And now I look back and realize, if I'd gotten the man I'd had the crush on... it would have sucked and that I'm more suited for my BF than anyone else.

    You need to stop thinking about her. Yes it's hard because you've kept up your habit for years but... you won't find someone else if you're locking yourself to your memories of your relationship with her.

    You need to get fresh air in your soul. Like airing out a musty room to cool air and sunlight after having it locked up for a long time.

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    • crimsonSunset
      12 years ago

      Thank you angel for your nice reply. You are lucky you got someone else from that boy in your church.

      What hurt me is not that some other man won her. "She lied to me" and "Acting like a slut now" => these two hurts me.

      I am a good boy because I was able to love her unconditionally, but she did not see my love. Rather she had chosen that man so that she can settle in abroad country easily.

      *******
      Today, I did not send any text msg to her. From yesterday I have stopped visiting her facebook profile (which I did 9/10 times daily before that). I have stopped calling her. Just in a hope it lessens my ache.

      I hope I become as lucky as u r to meet someone I'm meant to be with. Nice wish in the last line. Thanks angel.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        you will be.

        it just takes time. but you're helping yourself heal which is the first step towards a fresh day

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  • Thatguy777
    11 years ago

    Angel's right. It can be hard espicially when you're so strongly in love with a person, but start talking to other girls. That will help you. You don't have to just think of her. She's married now. You're young too. Focus on young girls your age, live it up, and have fun! You'll find the one in time.

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