Is it normal to be curious if my boyfriend masturbates?

96% Normal

For some reason.. I've always wondered if my boyfriend... you know......... masturbates.. ever.. I don't know why I wonder this.. And I sure as heck ain't gonna ask him! I sometimes do, but I don't tell anyone (obviously) and I am just curious if he does too.. cuz I know it's normal to do this, but I dunno if he actually would..
We've agreed to wait to have sex until we're married.. and we've talked about getting married in the very near future.. we've talked about having kids and even having sex. My friend brought it up the other day, and I told him about it, and he kinda laughed about it.. but we did actually talk about sex.

I just don't know if he would masturbate thinking about me or whatever, and I don't know why I would be so incredibly curious.. I've even tried to think of a way to subtly ask him, but I know I'd seriously embarrass myself..

Is this normal??? Ugghhh...

Voting Results

96% Normal

Based on 51 votes (49 yes)

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Comments ( 55 )

Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

12 years ago | pl

he's a guy. I'd be more surprised if he didn't

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- volozi
  
  12 years ago
  
  this
  
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suckonthis9

12 years ago

Young Lady,
I would very much like to be polite with you, but by your responses, I feel that must say this:
YOU HAD BETTER CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
These people are trying to help you, but you are being stubborn, close-minded and obnoxious to them.
As to your question, I feel that they are absolutely correct, that you need to speak with your boyfriend about this.
Furthermore, your entire spiel about marriage lasting longer, is plainly false. If you can't be comfortable talking about sex now, and you think that sex on your wedding night is going to be some fantastic experience, you are in for a big surprize. It will be the worst experience of your life.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  "Young lady?" What, are my grandma now?
  
  I'll change my attitude when everyone else changes theirs! I'm tired of being picked on by people that think they know me.. when in reality, THEY DON'T! You guys don't even know my freaking name! So how can you know me? You don't! So hush up!
  
  Why do I NEED to talk to him about something that should be private? I mean really? If it's private, then it should stay private.. I don't tell him that I do it every now and then.. so why should he?
  
  Again, someone NOT reading the entire post before responding.. do you guys just filter everything when you read? Just read the things you WANT to read? We DO talk about sex.. we don't get discriptive seeing as neither of us have done it, but we do talk about it... maybe in an interesting way, but we still do... goodness, he picks on me cuz I was beyond scared to kiss him but I want kids somethin fierce.. he said, how do I expect to have kids if I'm terrified of little things like kissing? Ok? We do talk about it, just not the way you guys think... chill out..
  
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  - suckonthis9
    
    12 years ago
    
    In response to you comment,
    I am not your Grandma but I know someone who knows your Grandma and who knows you. Your Grandma would like to send you a message, your Grandma knows more about Human sexuality than you do, otherwise you would not have been born.
    I give in. You're right, I would like to ask everyone in the world to change their attitude right now, so that this fine young lady does not feel like she's being picked on and everyone can get to know her.
    If you feel that this should be kept private, then why did you make it public?
    Grandma would like you to know that if you don't begin to understand the reality of sex, your marriage will last only three days. ONE, TWO, THREE days, and you will still be a virgin.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      Wow.. what's with everyone saying they know someone that knows me? No you don't.. My grandma might know that, as weird as that does sound, but she's not gonna lexture me on that..
      I would like everyone to change their attitudes.. it's human nature to get defensive when being attacked.. and right now, I feel like everyone is attacking me... Why can't we all just talk like decent human beings?
      Hey, I know about sex, ok? I do. Me and my boyfriend are choosing to wait till we're married.
      
      I only asked this stupid question because I sometimes wonder if he does it and was wondering if it was normal for me to think of it like this.. I wasn't intending to ask him if he does, and I wasn't asking if everyone thought he was.. I was just curious if it was normal that I think about it a lot... that's it.
      Why can't I ask a simple question anymore? =/
      
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      - Alison89
        
        12 years ago
        
        Talk like decent human beings? Is that what you call calling people dumbasses and retards?
        
        You did ask a simple question, and like in a conversation, people gave their answers. And you flamed everyone for not giving you the answer you wanted. And you called them names for it.
        
        Why do you think you're being picked on when you call people retards?
        
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      - suckonthis9
        
        12 years ago
        
        To answer your question, yes it is perfectly normal to be curious about it.
        Please take this advice:
        Don't keep it to yourself, talk to your boyfriend about it WHEN YOU'RE READY.
        
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        suckonthis9
        
        12 years ago
        
        I think that you should offer everyone a HEARTFELT APOLOGY.
        
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Axero

12 years ago

the author... it should that we only want to help it

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dalmationUntoyourSoul

12 years ago

if you guys make out and don't have sex, i'm sure he probably masturbates. hopefully he thinks of you when he does it. how are you thinking about marrying this person if you two can't be honest and communicate like adults? what if you guys still can't talk about these things after you're married? i think you guys should watch each other masturbate and have a good time with it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Um... no. That's gross.....
  
  We're open about everything else in our lives... I'm pretty sure this isn't on that list of "to do's" when we want to have a serious relationship that actually lasts unlike most people's in this world... People who do stuff like you just said, usually don't have good marriages.. so I think I'll skip that, because I really love him and I intend on keeping him
  
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  - Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    
    12 years ago
    
    actually that's rather reasonable.
    
    if you're not ready to discuss sex with him, or even consider watching each other's bodies in pleasure.... it's possible that you're not ready for a mature relationship with him.
    
    and that's ok. you don't need to rush things. but when you DO start an adult relationship, you need to be open with each other.
    
    believe me if you get married then there's far 'grosser' things you will encounter than just watching him enjoy self-pleasure. things like ... bathroom habits, seeing each other get sick, etc.
    
    it is something to consider preparing yourself for as you enter into adulthood
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      But we're just dating!!!! Hello??? "Watching each other" that involves naked... um... again, hello??? Kinda doesn't go by the good Christian relationship we have =P
      
      You can think I'm not in a mature relationship with him all you want, I know that I am. You don't know anything else about my relationship. You don't know what we're like when we're together, so how can you possibly tell me what's going to happen in our relationship? I bet you think you're such an expert behind that keyboard, but you're just hiding behind a computer screen. You got nothin on me.
      I know we are serious about each other, sex does not determine that. Last time I checked, a real relationship was about how much you love each other and how your friendship built that relationship.. not how much sex you can possibly have..
      
      We're planning on getting married in September.. just fyi
      
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      - Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        
        12 years ago
        
        You're getting too defensive when there are no attacks.
        
        First of all, I never said you had to start having sex - what I said was that it's OK *NOT* to rush.
        
        As for "mature relationship" ... You're mistaking my meaning - I was trying to be a little on the polite side without being over-blunt. But I'll go to blunt for you. ;-) When you're ready to start having sex you need to be open with each other about personal things.
        
        You seem to be assuming that I am promoting sex sex sex sex when actually I'm not. I'm promoting being open with your partner. Part of physical intimacy is learning to put aside shyness and really open up - not just your body but your mind to your partner.
        
        A good example of this is an "making love list". It's a list of what you want, no matter how secret the desire. And a list of what you never ever want to try. Lastly it includes a list of things you don't want but you'll compromise on with your partner.
        
        Part of maintaining a mature relationship (and this time I mean sex and being an adult about it) is simply being open with your partner.
        
        But remember.... this is something you decide when you start. You don't have to jump into bed with him right this instant if you're not ready. That's the point I've been making all along.
        
        What you should do is just... prepare your mind and heart for what is to come. And understanding that sex isn't all about tab A into slot B but opening up your secrets to your partner. And accepting his secrets as well without judgement
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        12 years ago
        
        We're waiting till we're married to have sex. Just to point that out.
        
        We already are open with each other. We've shared absolutely everything! I know his biggest secrets and he knows mine. We're so open with each other and we have no problem telling each other things.
        
        And also, I don't judge anyone.. ever. That's actually the biggest thing that caught his interest about me. Because, before we were dating, he was always judged by people around him.. and when I was the only one that didn't judge him, that caught his interest. So no, I don't judge him. I never would. It's not my place.
        
        Anyways... I'm just looking forward to our wedding September 28th ^_^ Well... once he gets up the courage to talk to my dad.. =P haha Anyways....
        
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Funone1

12 years ago

If he has pubes he masturbates. What a guy thinks about can vary greatly. When I was 12 I would masturbate thinking about a school project I had coming up. A guy can think about something not at all sexual when masturbating or can think about other guys (even if he is str8). Some girls get jealous because their boyfriend thinks about other girls.

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dom180

12 years ago

He almost certainly does, or if he doesn't only resists the urge because he thinks you would dislike it. I'd be surprised if any guy would dislike that their girlfriend masturbated. Presuming you are having sex then there shouldn't really be anything to fear in terms of being open with each other. If I were you I'd tell him that you do it; doing so would make you both feel more comfortable about it. You could try it together, to spice up sex.

The main thing to remember is: if it anything ever bothers you or makes you curious, you should always be able to ask/talk about it with him.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  "Presuming you are having sex.." um...What part of "We've agreed to wait to have sex until we're married.." says we're having sex?? I mean, really..?
  
  I don't want to ask him because I don't want to make it awkward...
  
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  - dom180
    
    12 years ago
    
    Sorry, TL;DR moment.
    
    I know it's crappy advice, but there is no reason to be awkward. If you don't have sex he's DEFINITELY masturbating. I know all guys are different but the need for sex is pretty much a constant unless he's totally asexual, which I doubt. If he isn't having sex with you, he's having sex with his hands.
    
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  - Alison89
    
    12 years ago
    
    If you think it's going to be awkward, I'm guessing you don't talk about sex or sexually-related things with him. Is that correct?
    
    If it was me, I wouldn't ask him IF he masturbates. I'd pose it a different way when the opportunity presents itself and say WHEN he masturbates or HOW he masturbates.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      When will someone actually read a post before commenting... -_-
      "We've talked about sex"
      I think I said that twice in this post....
      
      We kind of talk about it... nothing gross obviously, but usually we talk about like, "when we get married, yeah we're gonna have sex.." my friends have brought up some things about us if we were having sex, and that when we kinda talked.. cuz we were saying that we'd rather wait for our wedding night.
      
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      - dalmationUntoyourSoul
        
        12 years ago
        
        so you guys have mentioned sex, not talked about it, judging from the "nothing gross obviously" comment.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        12 years ago
        
        Well yeah.. What do you expect us to say? O_o
        
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      - Alison89
        
        12 years ago
        
        Well, sorry for trying to help. Good luck.
        
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Alison89

12 years ago

I don't care to be called a jackhole, a dumbass, or a retard. And your first response to me was less than cordial.

I can see your point about not getting the kind of answer you were looking for. What did you expect to get from the Internet?

You might find that you get better responses if you aren't such an asshole to people when they don't answer your post the exact way you want.

I you're a good communicator, you have yet to prove it.

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Alison89

12 years ago

Sorry, I don't believe the OP one bit and the last response makes me suspect she's even younger than 13. I draw the line at arguing with children especially on the Internet.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  I'M 18 YOU DUMBASS!!!!!! You're retarded..
  
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  - Alison89
    
    12 years ago
    
    I'm sure I'm not the first one to tell you that you're very immature and have no communication skills.
    
    Good luck getting good advice.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      Actually, I do have good communication skills.. you don't know me, so stop judging me! It's not even your place..
      Last time I checked, EVERYONE completely missed the question... "Is it normal that I'm curious if my boyfriend masturates?" Is it normal... that I'm curious... if my boyfriend masturbates............ THAT I AM CURIOUS....... did you guys just stop reading after that last part? Cuz nobody seems to know how to answer right......
      
      Geez people....
      I'm not going to ask him because I don't want to make things awkward.... jackholes...
      
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      - Alison89
        
        12 years ago
        
        You still haven't said one thing that makes me think you're over 12.
        
        And you tell me I know nothing? Ha!
        
        What else do you have to say?
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        12 years ago
        
        Well that's your problem, not mine. Go ahead, think I'm whatever age you please. I know I'm 18, everyone around me knows I'm 18, my MOTHER knows I'm 18, my boyfriend who is 20 knows I'm 18..... the only person who doesn't know that is you apparently and OBVIOUSLY I don't give a flippin crap about that.. so yeah.... all good here.
        
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Alison89

12 years ago

I seriously doubt the person who wrote this is 18. My guess would be 13.

That's based on the number of times she said things are gross and that people who do things before marriage don't have good marriages.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Haha well, I really am 18 dork.. born 1993
  
  So it makes me 13 to think some things are gross? Really? I'm sorry, I was raised different.. my parents never gave me "the talk" cuz they just never had time for me.. I literally found out what sex was by looking it up on Google =P
  Um.. I said that cuz it's true.. then again, you're one of those people that think it's ok to have sex before marriage.. so what would you know? Oh wait, nothing! Hahaha!
  
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ygrowup

12 years ago

You really should already know the answer to this without asking!

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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

He probably does, he's a young guy. It doesn't mean anything other than he's jacking off, in so much as, he still loves you/needs you/etc.

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assdfghjkl

12 years ago

Yes that seems normal ~ I've been married for years and occasionally I ask my husband if he masturbates - he always says no - which is probably a little lie ;)

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Anonymous Post Author

12 years ago

I'd like to say that I agree with you all... but then again, everyone's different... so it's tough to say.. =/

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- [Old Memory]
  
  12 years ago
  
  Well the reason I included the .03% margian of error is because I can't be absolutely certain that he has hands...
  ...there are two classes of males: those who admit they masturbate...and liars.
  
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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

I can tell you with 99.97% certainty. Yes. He does.

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- Shackleford96
  
  12 years ago
  
  That other .03% are LIES!
  
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Jweezee

12 years ago

He's a sexually frustrated teen with raging hormones and hands. Yes he does.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to be curious if my boyfriend masturbates?