Is it normal to be constantly annoyed at my boyfriend for.....

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Is it normal for me to be annoyed at my boyfriend for constantly choosing something else to do other than spend time with me?

So the history. We live together, we both work and get very little time together. so the problem, when the weekends come upon us i think great some time together, is this wrong? we have his children (both under 12)every two weekends and as much as I enjoy them being here I dont think it is adult time. so when we get a free weekend with just us I think great etc, but he goes fishing as a hobby, great he has something else other than work, kids and me!, and i get that. So why is it after 3 weeks of not really seeing each other as work commitments etc, he chooses to go fishing. Yesterday, I could except but then again today, he says he wants to spend time with me, he really does, but because I don say he cannot go fishing he goes, so I get annoyed, I keep telling him he is old enough to make his own desisions and why should I decide for him that he is going to spend time with me. last night we did not argue, but I said i would like to have a lie in during the weekends occasionally, obviously with the kids its and early one and when he is fishing even earlier, so last night he slept in the kids room, i did not know, he went to bed early and when I went up he was not there I got really angry, I was upset it was a bit of a shock to find him not there but in another room, he said I said earlier I could always sleep in the kids room, he did not say he was! he only told me yesterday afternoon that he was going fishing today as well, so of course I have no plans to entertain myself either. he says I dont have to Not make plans but I am starting to feel that if I do make plans I would never actually see him, I love him of course i do, but his actions are making me miserable. we also are short on money and the fishing costs money as well, so I am sure it is all coming to a head with everthing and not just this event. So how I see it, the man does not want to spend time with me or sleep with me! bit dramatic i am sure, but I feel this is not going to get better. any advice out there, as it is drving me mad I think I am becoming a bit obsesive about this.

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Based on 46 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • aussiewolf
    12 years ago

    first of all, you cant get mad at him because he cant read your mind. if you want to spend time with him, then tell him you want to spend time with him. he probably thinks you are really understanding by not making a fuss if he goes fishing. have you been fishing? why dont you ask him if you can go on a fishing trip together? its really nice and you will spend heaps of time together.

    work on your communication. dont blame him for how you feel. tell him what is going on and dont get angry. he is going to be so confused because you have kept your feelings bottled up inside for so long. just make suggestions on things to do together and if you really want to spend time with him then TELL HIM!!

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    • Vixster32
      12 years ago

      Hi Aussiewolf,

      Thanks for your advice.

      Maybe I should have said we have great communication,and we have been fishing together etc etc, he just chooses fishing because I refuse to tell him he cannot go, I make my feelings clear about it but I refuse to be his mother and tell him Yes you can and No you cannot, if that makes sense. He is a grown man and has to make his own decision on if he wants to spend time with me, which I tell him on a regular basis, he says he does but becasue I do not give him a hard time and tell him No he still goes fishing. Alas hence why I have wrote on here as i give up, and believe me there is no confusion on his part about how I feel.

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      • aussiewolf
        12 years ago

        well if you are refusing to tell him how you feel, then that is your choice. telling your boyfriend you want to spend time with him is not mothering him. i think what you dont realise is that guys dont "get" hints. they dont "get" subtlety. you dont have to tell him he cant go fishing, just ask him if he wants to go out to dinner or have a date or something. it kind of sounds like that you are too proud to say anything?

        but on the other hand if your boyfriend really doesnt want to spend any time with you then you should think about looking for a guy who does.

        good luck!

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