Is it normal to be confused about my sexuality at 23?

77% Normal
8 Comments

Okay I'm 23. Still a virgin but have done everything else with 3 guys. I have never had a boyfriend. I don't necessarily want a boyfriend right now, because I am afraid actually. I guess because it's so foreign to me. I eventually want to get married and have kids though. I get infatuated with some guys, and fantasize about us together. but whenever guys ask me out or start getting close, I get weirded out.

Ever since the 7th grade I started getting "girl crushes" and idolizing certain girls thinking they were cool and popular and I wanted to be like them and be friends with them. I am not sure if I am just reading into this too much, but I feel more comfortable around girls and like their company more. I never thought of them in a sexual way though and I dont want a girlfriend.

Sometimes I think I may just be asexual. That the attractions I am feeling for both sexes are purely aesthetic, emotional, or romantic. I am confused about what I want and my sexual orientation. i don't mind giving a guy oral, but I freaked out when it was done to me. and I feel that sometimes dating and hooking up is so awkward that I avoid it at all costs.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 201 votes (154 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Skylae
    11 years ago

    For a second I thought I might have written this... except that I'm 21. So yeah, I'm gonna say normal at least because I know I'm the same.

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  • forever_anon
    11 years ago

    Yes, it's normal. Sometimes, women don't discover that they're lesbian or bisexual until middle age. Although in your case, it sounds like you admire your girl friends and want to be like them, not necessarily be intimate with them. Of course, only you can know for sure, and you may have to experiment to know for certain.

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  • randomstranger777
    11 years ago

    It's not strange; i read an article about a woman who didn't know she was a lesbian until her husband divorced her.

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  • dedlit
    11 years ago

    Why not be confused? I'm 23 myself and most of the times I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual (or cosmosexual cosmic+sexual) I even find some weird sience-fiction characters really erotic! (Seriously!)

    The big thing I have learned over the past years is that: No matter what, when I fall in love things like gender, haircolor or age (not older than my father and not younger than the age of consent) will not matter.

    For the part what you like or not: Listen to yourself, if you don't like doing things others consider as "normal" then just don't do it! Maybe you get comfortable over time with some things and if not ... what's the big deal?
    Start slow and relax with the things you like, always remember:

    Sex and all connected stuff should above all be fun, it should enrich your life!
    (And age, gender, viginity or not should not matter so much.)

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  • pauleleven
    11 years ago

    yes it is
    I am 15 and I'm confused

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  • saduJ18
    11 years ago

    Do you find sexual pleasure in masturbation? If so you could be autosexual. It's a real condition, but rare.

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    • Bellaitalia89
      11 years ago

      Yes I do actually. I feel as if sex is a very private thing. I feel uncomfortable doing that stuff with other people. It just feels so animalistic. Sometimes I do have the desire to hook up, but once I am completely naked with the other person, I don't like it.

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      • Bmac17
        11 years ago

        We're all animals. What a condescending statement, what makes you better than any animal? That being said, you may just need to find someone who doesn't mind it, or feels the same way.(not an easy task when it comes to men, as for most men sexual relief is a need)

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