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An alcoholic guy seriously groped me at party, when no one was looking, and I was furious about it. But my former housemate and good friend, a gay guy, has since moved in with the alco-groper (a heterosexual guy), even though my gay friend knows about the serious groping. I feel very betrayed. Is it normal for friends to betray you like that?
Yes i think you have every right to feel betrayed. Maybe the Heterosexual guy is Bi and offered him butt sechs and he went that way.
Drunks often do that shit, I'm not saying its right. Just saying that's what drunks do. He might be a good guy sober?
Maybe he doesnt take seriously how violated u feel. maybe u have downplayed it as well.
Why should he feel bad, because you're a bitch. Furthermore, who are you to say that your friend can't have fun with the aforementioned "alco-groper" in the privacy of their own apartment? Stop being so self centered.
Yeah your friend should of twatted him. Tell him to shit in his bed and then move out.
Little wonder you are angry at the groper. But betrayal is a strong word. I guess you need to ask yourself how the friend is betraying you - are you suggesting he not have a relationship at all with this guy?
Why don't you talk together and try to see his perspective. You are not wrong by any means. But hearing the gay guy's take could help. He could just be desperate for a place to live. Talk to him - be a friend.
My gay friend (GF) was happily living with ME (and I did all the housework and gardening, which was part of the deal) but the groper offered him cheaper rent which was attractive because GF doesn't earn a lot. GF sneaked out in the dead of night owing me lots of money but, to his folly, couldn't fit everything in his car so left stuff behind to come back for. I packed up his stuff and have withheld it to get him to pay me back which he did after calling the police to get his possessions back, which didn't work as I broke no law and, even if I did, they had no warrant. As a result, we're no longer friends, which I am disappointed about. In retrospect, GF was very dishonest so perhaps it's better to be rid of him.
It is sad when you discover a good friend was only using you. I had a housemate do something similar. (But no groping involved.) She became very passive agressive and stopped cleaning up her dog's poop. She packed up and left with the plan to return to pick up a few remaining things and drop off keys and money. I didn't know she hated me so much that she came in while I was sleeping to take the remainder of her things. I woke up when she arrived, went to the bathroom, and when I came out, she was gone. She didn't leave the $300 she owed, or the keys. She also took a cookie sheet that didn't belong to her as well as a door latch. So petty.
But she forgot a few items of value in the basement. I had the forsight to lock them up, knowing she would try to fuck me. I have sense sold them and regained some of the money she owed. It was sad because I gave her a place to stay, dirt cheap, when she found herself a bit jobless and homeless. I have never been more betrayed in my life.
We have a lot of friends in common but they don't know the details. It isn't worth the energy. I take small satisfaction in knowing that I can be the better person. I've not let this experience ruin my faith and trust in other friends. And I get a small sense of satisfaction knowing my cat defended me by peeing on her things when she got really bad. And kitty scratched the shit out of her dog. I feel bad for the dog, but he needed to learn that you don't pounce on cats.
My advice, don't let this person sour your other relationships. But you sound justified.
Wow. Same thing happened to you. I KNEW there was someone out there who'd been f$%ked over in the same way. I felt like such a hero when I fended off the "poll-ice". Just like the Alamo, except I won. Problem was that my husband, who's a lawyer (not a criminal lawyer, an Intellectual Property lawyer so he knows very little about criminal law, and what it covers and doesn't cover), was hassling me to give the stuff back, when the police were here. They called him at work to get him to come all the way home at 3pm to help resolve the seige, so he was angry at me. But I did not back down until I got paid what I was owed, which was many days later. (Actually, what WE were owed, as I was standing up for my husband, too. We're a married couple who has lodgers because we can't have children. Probably a bad reason to have lodgers ... Problem is, the lodger became a friend. I have learned an important lesson. Lodgers are NOT my friends. They are my tenants.) I did not break any criminal law in this country (Australia), so there was no mandate for me to hand over anything. I refuse to be a victim anymore. If I had given in, it would have made me feel used, abused and conquered and that would have made me feel very depressed, and to extrapolate, that would have led to antidepressant medication, not being able to get out of bed, etc. Been there. Not going back. I'd give up my husband, anything, before going back to that dark place where the black dog barks and black clouds rain.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Some people can be bold in their stupidity. What made him think he had rights if hebroke the terms and agreements? Did they sign a lease? If you break the terms of the lease, you have few rights to property. I rent a house with my husband and we have housemates to help with the rent. We usually rent to friends and have never had a problem until recently. I don't know your laws but I had every right to change the locks and do wht I wanted with their stuff.
But try to let it go. And get a lawyer to look over a lease agreement before you rent to future tennants.
Oh my, there really is a LOT more! Betrayal. And crook. And sleaze. What rats. I'm pretty firm that way myself too. You need to, some people use friendship to try to make you their patsy. Well, there are certainly a couple less weeds in your friendship garden, so good on you.