Is it normal to be attraced(emotionally) to masochistic people.

52% Normal
6 Comments

I don't see myself as being to sadistic.but I'm madly in love with a masochistic girl who's way to much for me to handle but I'm drawn to her,I want her and I don't want to dominate her. Though I have had fantasys of dominating other people. It's like she's my deepest fear she's experienced someone dominating her and now she can't get enough. I on the other hand feel like im trying to supress my urge to be sadistic because its not healthy(for me) is that normal to want her, to want to dominate but not want to dominate her? It's like she's what I want and I could possibly have but the concept of her giveing me power scares me.

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52% Normal
Based on 31 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • rin
    12 years ago

    If you trust each other and set boundaries/safe words and know what you're doing I think you'll be fine. It depends on what you want to do but it's better than trying some things alone and ending up hurt or worse.

    I don't think it's necessarily sadistic or unhealthy. I think you should do what Anime7 said and take turns. You could do little things that aren't going to hurt either one of you much to start and see what you think.

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  • Anime7
    12 years ago

    You fear escalation. Basically you're afraid that by dominating her you won't want to stop and you'll end up abusing her. Nobody wants to be a megalomaniac. If anything, I suggest that you each take turns dominating each other, that way control shifts and you can keep each other in check. Or you could just explain to her that dominating someone isn't your thing.

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  • Tectonik
    12 years ago

    Honestly I have no clue. It's just as a kid she had a hard life and now it's affecting her young adulthood. I guess it's the good I see in her,the moments we've shared and how unbelievably attracted to her I am. I guess it's just those moments that help me know she's not totally insane. The good in her is what Ive been looking for in my life,she's not perfect but she's everything I've ever dreamed of with a little extra problems.(well big problems.)

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  • Tectonik
    12 years ago

    Also the thing is that she's not just sexual masochistic she's morally masochistic... Which means it rules every aspect of her life conscious and unconscious shes she's like the textbook definition of masochism. And it's really selfdestructive. She wants to be dominated she craves it, and if she doesn't get she inwardly punishes herself through self mutilation(cutting) or really self destructive thought patterns and action and that disables me form being able love her because she pushes all good relationships she has in life away and replaces them with bad and destructive ones.( I've put a lot of thought into this lots and lots of thought.)

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    • Anime7
      12 years ago

      She doesn't sound like someone you want to be around. What is it about her that you're madly in love with?

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  • Tectonik
    12 years ago

    Also the concept of beging dominated is something that I just can be I don't like the idea of anyone having power over me like the idea of being restrained makes me panic...but in some small aspects of sex I guess I wouldn't mind her dominating me...

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