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I feel ashamed of being raped as a four year old. I'm not sure if that's normal or not, because some people say I'm supposed to be mad, and others say I'm supposed to have forgiven and forgotten already. Is it normal to be ashamed?
It's normal for you to have whatever feelings you have against the evil person who perpetrated this crime against you. I just hope your body didn't sustain any permanent injuries as a result of the attack. I also hope the rapists dies a slow, painful death then rots in Hell!
You should never be ashamed for something that wasn't your fault you were 4. As for forgiven, no person who ever harms a child should be forgiven. And how can you forget the trauma you went through?, that's hard to do even with professional help.
You have absolute licence to react to that traumatic event however you want to. Nobody else knows anything about it, and it's not their place to tell you how to feel.