Is it normal to be annoyed at close-mindedness?

81% Normal

I can't help but get annoyed at people who are unsociable and associate with hardly anyone. Like, some people I've talked to refuse to get to know me, just because they didn't to begin with. There's this one chik I talked to, and I chat with her friends quite a bit, and they're all wonderful. She said "you don't know me or my friends yet you add us all on skype/facebook/follow us on tumblr & twitter, sorry if you think I don't want to know you, but I have no clue who you are." That made no sense to me. Her and I are under no obligation to be friends, I don't even want to know her after she was that bitchy, but I do know like 4 of her friends. I met them all online, but I don't have to meet someone physically to know them, but whatever that's just me. My point is, she seems too close-minded, like, she thinks everyone outside of her immediate friends/family is a waste of time. Sure everybody can associate with whoever they want, but I don't understand why some people are like that. Anyone else feel this way?

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81% Normal

Based on 52 votes (42 yes)

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Comments ( 23 )

alv1592

12 years ago

....pyjamas anyone?

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- karmasAbich
  
  12 years ago
  
  Haha.
  
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CheekyChihuahua

12 years ago

If a stranger was messaging me, I wouldn't want to be friends with them either. I use those sites to connect with people I used to know or already know in real life, not to meet new people. She is probably the same way. Not everyone cares to have lots of online friends like you do, and just prefer to always speak with their real life friends.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  I posted this a few months ago, but I still check this site often. Things have changed between me and this chik since then. I messaged her again and explained more thoroughly. One of her friends' bf is a popular musician on YouTube & she just assumed that I was a random fan of his & add their whole group of friends on social networking just for that reason, which isn't true. I think he's very talented, but I knew Madi before I knew who her bf was. But after I explained Blakely was more understanding. Her response was "well I'm glad you know Madeline as she is one of the kindest souls on earth. I wasn't asking you to prove your friendship with these people to me, but congrats though." I'm still not sure if I like her, but I'm not upset with her anymore. And you can use your pages & IM services for any reason you want, I'm not telling anyone what to do here. I just didn't understand her at first and that frustrated me. But it's fine now.
  
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VsegdaTemnata

12 years ago

You don't have to constantly say things like "I'm not letting your comments hurt me." I'm not trying to hurt you.

Now this is just a speculation of mine, may or may not be true: You just mentioned you have a developmental disorder. And you followed up right after by stating that you're hanging out with someone next week. A person who is confident in their social standing would not be so defensive about it. Which would mean you don't have a lot of confidence in yourself. Now, some people at school might've noticed your developmental disorder and cast you aside because of it. It's just the way it is, people are dicks. The girls that are nice to you might just be doing it because they don't want to be mean and hurt you. And this so-called "close-minded girl" probably feels uncomfortable around you and took the intiative to tell you that her and her friends don't know you and feel a little uncomfortable about you talking to them. People are just assholes, dump them and meet some that care.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  I can see you're trying to be more understanding and I appreciate it. But, these people I know on the net actually don't know I have a disorder. People I went to school with know because I had to have an aide with me in class from 4th grade on. I'm actually highly advanced and didn't need an aide, but it wasn't up to me. The school staff often underestimated me. :/ Not everybody I went to school with were the most compassionate people. Although Blakely (the weird girl) isn't nice to everyone, her friends are. Madeline is pretty popular with people online and gets a ton of messages in her Formspring box, and she always replies nicely. Same with Jillian, she thanks everybody for complimenting her music. And I'm not being defensive, just trying to prove some points. Hope you understand now. :)
  
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  - VsegdaTemnata
    
    12 years ago
    
    Ohhh, I misunderstood you. You know what, I think you're right. This Blakely chick is probably just an asshole. Don't deal with her.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      Thank you, yeah obviously you misunderstood before, but I'm glad you see my point now. :)
      
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crissyabear

12 years ago

I agree with the comment above mine. Why does it matter is she doesn't want to be your "friend"? Some people use the social networks just to keep in touch with their actual friends and family. Others use them to meet new people. Get off the computer and go meet real friends.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  It's not the fact that she doesn't want to be friends, but the fact that she's so close-minded and shunned me for basically no reason. And she automatically assumed that I don't know any of her friends, when really I do in a way.
  
  And, I have some friends in my local area. But you see, I often felt underestimated/outcast in school because I have a developmental disorder. So at times I feel more socially accepted on the net. I don't spend my whole life online though. I'm hanging out with a friend next weekend.
  
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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

uhhh she flat out told you.....maybe she's one of the many intelligent girls who thinks it's weird as fuck to go around adding random girls that you see online. and you're not helping it by following/adding all of her other social networks. I highly doubt that you are "friends" with any of them they probably think you're some weirdo sitting behind a computer screen. sorry, but it's true.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Uhhh, if her friends don't want to make friends, why would they put their music/photography on the net for the world to see/hear? smh...
  
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  - VsegdaTemnata
    
    12 years ago
    
    To get comments, constructive criticism, and to perhaps gain fame. Not to have unknown guys chat them up.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      I'm a girl and not a lesbian, so I don't chat up other girls to flirt or anything, I'm just nice. Actually, another post of mine was approved at the same time as this one, don't know if you've read it, but it's "IIN to worry because of past experiences?" I'm talking about blokes in that one. Thank ya for your time.
      
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    12 years ago
    
    it's called EXPRESSING WHO YOU ARE ON A SOCIAL NETWORK. don't be a weirdo man. get the fuck over it
    
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VsegdaTemnata

12 years ago

I would be annoyed at this too. If someone I don't know messaged me saying "Hi" I would not respond. If, however, they caught my interest, I would respond. She has probably had a million random guys message her with the usual "hi." She's not interested, get over it. Online friends are not real friends and that's the truth. And this is not close-mindedness. It's simply not wanting to associate with unnecessary people in life.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  OMG no, you do NOT understand! You can have your opinion, but most people I meet whether it be online or in real life or whatever ARE my friends! I have a friend in another country, and you obviously know nothing about our friendship. For 4 years, we have talked almost daily, and done video chat several times, and we really want to meet someday. In fact I'm saving up money for a plane trip. I love her like a long-distance sister and NOTHING can change that.
  
  And, 2 of this twat's friends play music and post it on FB and You-Tube. 2 of her other friends post their amazing photography on the net. Obviously they want people to see/hear it and comment on it. And, one girl went to Italy and sent me a postcard, so she obviously likes me. I was trying to not let these comments get to me, but if someone disagrees with something I feel strongly about, that's when I go to great lengths to prove my point.
  
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  - VsegdaTemnata
    
    12 years ago
    
    Your international friend is a different story. You two obviously have common interests and WILL meet one day.
    
    The girl that you are talking about has no interest in talking to you. If she posts her photography online, she wants comments but she does not want people she does not know just saying "hi" to her.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      First of all, glad you understand my point.
      Secondly, it's not the weird girl I was talking about who post pictures and stuff, that's her friend Madeline. It was her that sent me the postcard, and I've IM'ed her here and there and she's always happy to talk to me. Madeline is a very down-to-earth person. I'm not arguing with you, again I'm just stating my point. I'm not letting your comments bother me, you don't know me or anyone I'm talking about here lol....
      
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dom180

12 years ago

She doesn't need any more friends, so what? You've already said that she isn't obliged to hang out with you. Tbh, I agree with her, it's good that there are still some people who can tell the difference between real-life and online "friends". It seems to me that you are just bitter cause she friend-rejected you :)

You hate what you don't understand. You don't understand why some people don't want to hang out with you, so you hate it. Trying to force her to hang out with you will make it worse. Just leave her alone. You are being as bitchy as her, if not more so.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Thanks for the comment, but I think you misunderstood some things. You don't have to consider YOUR interweb friends real friends, but nothing you say can change my way of thinking.
  
  And, she lives in another state, so I wasn't asking her to hang out, I was just being nice by messaging her just to say hi, since I talk to her friends but had yet to talk to her. Then she asked if she knew me, and I said not really but we have mutual friends. Then she talked long enough to tell me what she was doing and then signed off without saying goodbye or anything. Then when I called her out on it she was even more of a bitch. See what I mean? Thank you for your time. :)
  
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  - dom180
    
    12 years ago
    
    Some people just don't like to talk online. Doesn't make them bitches. Calling them out on it does.
    
    If nothing anyone can say will change your way of thinking, then you are only here for self-validation, which isn't the point at all. I was only describing to you how she feels, so that you can at least recognise that she thinks differently; you don't need to agree, only understand that for some people, having mutual friends isn't enough to base a friendship on.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      Yes, I understand the last part of what you said, but I thought she'd be nice since her friends all are, but I was wrong. In fact that shows that she doesn't belong in her group of friends. I just don't understand why anyone would shun someone who's doing nothing but trying to be nice.
      
      And, your comments don't upset me at all, since you don't know me. I'm just stating my point.
      
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to be annoyed at close-mindedness?