Is it normal to be angry at your parents for creating you?

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10 Comments

Hello,

My parents are by and large great people. They have been great parents as well, at least in terms of helping me take advantage of opportunities.

They are also severely unbalanced people. My dad has severe depression and my mom has extreme avoidant personality disorder. They are not good at taking care of themselves, or at relating to people.

I seem to have inherited this. I am also suffering from depression/apd/social anxiety disorder, and am basically a mess (a wee teeny bit suicidal). Now, I understand that the "being a mess" part is completely my responsibility, and a failure to deal with the cards life dealt.

But the crux of this problem lies with the decision two mentally, chemically unbalanced people made to start a family together. It's infuriating to me that they would decide to do this, when there is such a high risk of passing these traits on (my brother suffers from these issues too).

So is it normal to be upset with my parents, for their decision to create a family even though they are both chemically unbalanced? Doesn't it seem incredibly irresponsible to have children if you run the risk of passing your mental deficiencies onto them? I can't imagine ever having children, and passing on what lurks in my brain.

So IIN?

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 56 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Can you think of a reason for having children that doesn't start with the words "Me" or "I" or "We"?

    I hate to sound like the overly judgemental one here, but the truth of it is that there is not a single unselfish reason to have a child. Your parents, knowing their genetic disability, could have saved two children from orphanages, but it's never good enough to take in a child without parents when they won't share your genetic code, am I right?

    I was one of the lucky adoptees to have things handled through a lawyer because my parents were looking in the area and wanted it all private and shit, so they found a mother before I was even born... but most kids put up for adoption simply end up spending the first 18 years of their life in an orphanage, never knowing a family at all....

    So for all you people talking about couples "rights" to have children, shouldn't all these abandoned children have the "right" to a family??

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    • Rebel_2
      9 years ago

      You make an excellent point

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Yes but I don't agree. I don't see why one shouldn't be allowed to have children because there is something wrong with them. In this case my parents shouldn't have had my brothers or me because my mom's mentally ill. That doesn't seem fair to either party. The only thing my mother has is her children. Why would you want to take that privilege away from someone who has nothing else? I'm actually a bit thankful. I may suffer like you do, like my brothers do, like many others do but it's made me, and it makes everyone, uniquely minded. We are more than the titles of our illnesses.

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    • Francophile22
      11 years ago

      The right of the unborn to not be born should trump the right of the adults to create a chaotic world where the kids suffer.

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  • DedicatedToTheTruth
    10 years ago

    God created you.

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    • Rorschach2099
      10 years ago

      That's great and all, but it's a completely useless response to my question

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    • GoraIntoDesiGals
      10 years ago

      No. Your parents did when your dad boned your mum. Get an education please.

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      • DedicatedToTheTruth
        10 years ago

        Everything starts with God, get a religion education please.

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        • GoraIntoDesiGals
          10 years ago

          A religious brainwashing you mean.

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          • DedicatedToTheTruth
            10 years ago

            Nope. :) you have a good day now.

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