Is it normal to be angered by an employee

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4 Comments

My husband and I run our own car sales business, which we did happily together without help for two years. A year ago, we moved to bigger, more professional looking premises. We also employed my husband's uncle as a salesman. I want to make it perfectly clear that he is a brilliant salesman, and in this field, I am more than happy with him.However, He seems to think and act like the business is his. He is in control of finance applications,even though he has a history with baycorp as long as your arm, he does paperwork to finalise sales, even though he is dyslexic, the stereo is set to his choice of music; a type which my husband and I cant stand. We never change it though, as he is likely to throw a temper tantrum. Prior to working for us, he worked at a gas station as the manager, but got sacked for theft. I dont think he would steal from us, as we are family. I get so angry sometimes that he acts like he is higher up the food chain than us. Incidentally, he is also certified as being nuts - (Bi-polar).My husband says that he is such a brilliant salesman, we should put up with the not so good aspects of his personality. The problem I have with this, is that my husband has worked very hard over the past 15 or more years to get where he is today, and I have hadto work my way up from being a groomer to a salesperson and finance consultant. Comparitively, he has been here five minutes, and has taken over. Sometimes, I really have to bite my tongue, because if I started, I wouldnt stop in a hurry. Because of this all the anger builds up and drives me mad. I feel like getting a t-shirt printed which reads: "We employed the village idiot!" I know it wouldnt change anything, but it would be a perfect way to get my point accross without saying a word.

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80% Normal
Based on 35 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I know you have fought with me on some post but like the three 'tards I have been fighting with for a while before you, I will be damned if I let them change who I am. The advice is good so I hope you will take it...

    with a grain of salt and at least read it before deleting it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Part 1. This was too long but I feel it might be able to help.

    The whole "inlaw" crap is so familiar. I have two inlaws that are the typical I-do-no-wrong-and-can-fix-everything type and the personality type is rather difficult to work with. That is one of the reasons I love my new job in the tax field is that each person contributes to a whole. Sure, I am first year and not as experience as others, it is nice to be needed and offered some returns that I can do that would be usually above a "first-years" head.

    However, that does not mean I can let it go to my head and I will not hesitate to ask for help when I can and if needed. While I don't need the help that often as I busted my ass to study tax law, I do know that I am not perfect by any means and had to break my personality to accept help in order to accomplish a task or goal.

    My workmanship for doing so is rather high and the leading tax consultant is offering me a "Golden Reference" as another preparer calls it as she usually does not give out a reference to anyone. (Oregon is FAR different from the rest of the United States, we have to be licensed and are not hired off the street to do a return. We are the only state that requires this.)

    However, we do have a preparer that only fills in twice a week as she works at a different office. This person nobody seems to like and at the other store, she has a running fued with another coworker just like herself. I dread going to work on Tuesdays as it is just her and I and it makes work suck so much harder when clients are slow for returns being done as she wants to ack, well...like a lot of the morons I fight with here on this site. She makes work actually harder by butting in on clients and offering bad advice. She has contradicted the head consultant on a few occasions and disagrees with the owner. Even knowing that nobody seems to get along with her, she continues to work as licensed tax preparers are extremely hard to come by and she does have a ton of experience in this field before her business went under.

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      Part 2, sorry for the book

      Like this preparer, your in-law seems to have the typical "white trash syndrome" and cannot take a back seat to another on the job or even in life. Sure, they may be good at the job and can actually show it, they just don't UNDERSTAND that the world doesn't revolve around them and that they are not always right. They will almost never admit defeat and heaven forbid they are wrong as showing them that would be a lost cause for both him as well as the company. In a joking way though, just be glad he isn't trying to be a mechanic as I have seen what that will cost when you repair the "damage" at an auto-shop.

      The best advice I could offer is to create more reason for him to take a back seat to those with more experience by having a decent, sit down talk with him and show him through examples why things are the way they are. If that doesn't work, go above his head and have his supervisor that is a friend of yours and his confront him on what he needs to accomplish and his attitude.

      On the other side, his point of view. He is apparently good at what he does because his personality wouldn't help him say if he sucks. He has years of experience with this type of job (I am assuming due to his age and your husbands.) and can do what he does with little "babysitting" on your end. Sure, he is a huge pain in the ass but he will never see that. To him, he thinks and truly believe that he is doing you a favor by offering you his intellect. And lastly, as a basketball coach once said, you can't teach height and I can't sell anything so be happy he can at least do that.

      Lastly though, firing him will only cause a problem. He is an in-law so like it or not, you will see him again even outside of work. With his type of mentality, I doubt he will take any advice on fixing himself well but it needs to be done. With his age and lack of employment before coming to you though, he has heard all of this before and still won't change so I doubt you personally can do anything to help him change. Honestly though, it is bothering you so letting it go is also out. You are truly in a pickel.

      Like I said before, you are going to have to get a supervisor under him or even your husband to talk to him and set the groundrules for working. It is the only way I could see anything working.

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  • zeus1234
    14 years ago

    Fire him. It's not worth the stress. His CV of negative bad experiences reads hot mess. You don't need that around. Hire someone else.

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